Short & Sweet Strategies to Reduce Stress This Holiday Season

The holidays have a way of pulling us in every direction at once. There’s the joy, of course—the lights, the traditions, the small magical moments. But there’s also the weight: expectations, family dynamics, full calendars, financial pressure, and the deep desire to hold everything together for everyone else.

For so many helping professionals—educators, social service providers, childcare staff—this time of year isn’t simply busy. It’s emotionally loaded. You’re carrying your own life, your own hopes for the holidays, and the needs and stresses of the children and families you serve. And without even noticing, we slip into a familiar thought, “I’ll take care of myself later.”

I know that pattern well. 

The Season My Life Changed

Almost 20 years ago, when we adopted our children, life shifted overnight (you can read about our adoption here). Adoption brings joy, tenderness, and deep purpose—but it also brings trauma histories, transitions, and big emotions. Every day required everything I had. I told myself I just needed to push through.

Six months later, I was hit with a significant health challenge, breast cancer. It forced me to sit still, look honestly at my life, and ask: How long had it been since I had taken care of myself?

The truth was hard to face. I had been operating under stress, urgency, and exhaustion for too long. I ignored every signal my body was sending. My cancer was what I call a 2 by 4 moment—a moment when I wasn’t paying attention when I needed to. So God had to hit me over the head with a 2×4 to get my attention!

I realized that during the time my body made me slow down, I came upon something that has shaped my work and my life ever since:

Stress isn’t just a feeling. It’s a full-body process.
And the smallest practices make the biggest difference.

I didn’t need a weeklong retreat to heal my stress patterns (however, that would have been nice). I needed the tiny, doable moments my nervous system could actually receive—moments that brought me back to myself while life was still happening.

Those small practices became my lifeline, and now they’re one of the foundational tools of my framework that  I teach to educators and helping professionals today.

Stress Is Normal

One of the most trauma-informed truths we can embrace is this: There is nothing wrong with you for feeling stressed. Stress is a normal, biological process. It happens anytime something is difficult, uncertain, emotional, or demanding.

Your nervous system isn’t misbehaving—it’s trying to protect you.

The key isn’t eliminating stress. It’s building a “menu” of practices that help you return to yourself when the world pulls you away. Especially in the holiday season, when pressure quietly (and sometimes loudly) ramps up, these small practices are an act of grounding and resilience.

Let’s talk about some short and sweet strategies you can weave into your day—whether you have 2 minutes or 20. Here are some strategies to try.

Short Resets (2–5 minutes)

1. Exhale Longer Than You Inhale: A long exhale tells your brain, “We are safe enough to settle.” Try a 4-second inhale, 6-second exhale.

2. Hand on Heart: A simple, powerful gesture that brings warmth and reassurance—especially helpful when emotions are high.

3. Joyful Photos: Look at something that sparks positive emotion—your pet, a funny memory, a favorite place.  A 10-second emotional shift is still a shift.

Medium Moments (5–10 minutes)

1. Soothing Soundtrack: Music is a regulatory tool for your nervous system. Find a playlist that helps your body get its needs met, whether it’s to calm, energize, or entertain.

2. Repetitive Crafts: Knitting, coloring, doodling—activities with rhythmic motion calm the system beautifully, and you can do them together with friends, family, or co-workers.

3. Mindful Eating or Drinking: Sip a warm tea, cocoa, cider, or coffee and really taste it. See how long it takes you to eat that holiday cookie. Be in the present moment and enjoy the sensations.

Rest, Restore, Reconnect (10+ minutes)

1. Movement Practice: Yoga, swimming, strength training—gentle or energizing, your choice.

2. Nature Time: Ten minutes under a tree can do what 50 minutes at a desk cannot.

3. Long Nap or Rest: Permission to rest is permission to heal. Rest builds resilience.

Your Menu: Choose What Works for the season.

In my workshops, I always tell people: you don’t need all of these. Pick three practices—one short, one medium, one longer—and let those be your “holiday menu.”

Life isn’t about perfection or achieving calm 24/7. It’s about creating micro-moments when your body can return to steadiness and safety.

It’s burnout prevention. It’s a trauma-informed way of caring for your whole self, and it matters. Especially now.

As you move through the holidays and into 2026, I hope you’ll offer yourself the compassion you so readily give to others.

Small practices work.
Small practices count.

Small practices change lives.

If you want more tools or support, I have an extended “Holiday Menu” you can download HERE. I’ll be sharing even more short-and-sweet practices throughout the season.

Here’s to a little less stress, a little more peace, and a year ahead that feels more like you.

The Necessity of Core Values

On long road trips alone, I enjoy listening to podcasts. I like filling my mind with others’ wisdom. This past weekend, I listened to Brené Brown’s Dare to Lead podcast. She has just released a new book, Strong Ground, on leadership, and is kicking off its promotion with conversations with Adam Grant. If you’re not familiar with Adam Grant’s work, he has authored several books on organizational psychology.

In one of the episodes I listened to, they discussed core values as a crucial part of leadership. I have narrowed my core values to three —spirituality, adventure, and contributing — but Brené suggests focusing on just two. She highlights the significance of these two values as they truly guide our actions and choices. She urges us to do the hard work of asking ourselves, What does this look like and sound like in my life?

For me, my value of spirituality is a priority in my life. I take time in the morning to watch a sunrise or meditate. This helps me see that there is something bigger than myself and the connection I feel. Adventure is also one of my values. I see adventure when planning trips to places I’ve never been before. I also find adventure in learning new things and ideas.

Helping organizations and schools identify their core values is part of my work with leaders and staff to initiate conversations about values and their impact on the workplace. 

This summer, I worked with a group of high school students and their mentors to identify values. They were asked to review the company’s values. How do your values align with the company? What does that alignment mean to you?

In June 2019, I wrote about helping teens identify their values and how sharing them with a supportive adult (like a teacher) can significantly impact their academic success. You can read that post HERE.

Try This:

  1. Print off this list of Core Values. Circle your top 10. I find that many want to put family first; however, you don’t need to feel obligated to do so. Family can be important, and you live your values through how you interact with your family members. 
  2. Next, narrow the list down to your top five values.
  3. Then to your top two. 
  4. Journal about how these two values show up in your life.
    1. What does it look like and feel like when you are in alignment with your values? 
    2. What does it look like ro feel like when you are out of alignment?
  5. Post your values where you can reflect on them often. This simple act can serve as a daily reminder of what’s truly important to you, helping you make decisions that align with your values. It can also provide clarity and direction, especially during challenging times.

This activity is valuable at the organizational level. When conflict occurs within an organization, unclear communication and a lack of understanding of our values can lead to assumptions, which, in turn, can increase the conflict. The time spent helping people understand and align with their own values, alongside the organization’s, can be an effective tool for addressing conflict when it arises.

Resources: Link to the 6-part podcast series Finding Our Strong Ground
Trauma-Informed Resiliency practices are designed for organizations or schools that want to support their staff in performing at their best for those they serve. If you’re interested in learning more about the workshops I can facilitate with your team, let’s chat. Click Here!

Real Self-Care is Rooted in Strengths

Recently, I attended a Restorative Justice Program conference with practitioners and youth from throughout the state. This conference was different than other conferences I had attended. I could tell as I walked into the opening session conference room. 

The room had chairs arranged into five large circles. The room host said, “Choose the circle that speaks to you.” As I walked around the room and looked at the items in the middle of each circle, I noticed a deck of cards in the center of one of the circles. Written on the deck box cover was the phrase: Rest is Resistance. This concept, which I had heard for the second time in less than a week, suggests that rest is not a passive act, but a form of resistance against the societal pressures that often lead to burnout. This must be a signal that this was the circle for me.

As the conference proceeded, on the second day, I selected a circle discussion on self-care. The Circle Keeper (the facilitator) asked a question about our emotions. However, instead of saying an emotion, she associated emotion words with animals and plants. So, if you felt sad, you were a Weeping Willow, or if you felt tired, you were an Owl. Sometimes, a person was a combination of more than one emotion.

The second round of questions focused on incorporating self-care into our lives across various categories: physical, emotional, environmental, social, mental, spiritual, intellectual, and financial. The facilitator provided examples and explained how to create combinations of self-care activities. While we don’t need activities from every category, it’s important to find ways to prioritize self-care. It was great to hear everyone share their goals for enhancing self-care and aspects of their lives that already support it.

As you move into the summer season (here in the northern hemisphere), take the time to stop and consider your self-care combination. Your strengths and values are good places to turn to help you develop a summer plan.

One of my strengths from the CliftonStrengths assessment is that I am a Learner. As a Learner, I enjoy the process of learning, plus one of my top values is a love of learning. When I lean into my strengths and values, self-care looks like spending time reading a book in my backyard on the patio. This understanding of my strengths and values empowers me to make self-care choices that truly resonate with me. 

In a training I facilitated on Strengths in Action, a session that focuses on leveraging your unique strengths to promote self-care, I asked participants to reflect on their strengths and recall when one or more of their strengths helped them in self-care. The conversation reflected on the resilience they had built through leaning into their strengths in ways that promoted self-care. 

You can do the same! Here are a few questions to start you on your way:

  1. What are your strengths? 

If you are unsure, I facilitate Strength Conversations with individuals and teams that can help you become aware and take action to support your self-care.

  1. What are your values? 

This is another area in which I support individuals and teams in growing to be their best for the people they serve. 

  1. What area do you want to focus on for self-care? 

Select one category: Physical, Emotional, Environmental, Social, Mental, Spiritual, Intellectual, or Financial. Some activities can be in more than one area. You choose!

  1. When will you practice?

Build the activity into your daily calendar. It’s better to start small, like a 10-minute walk, a 5-minute rest, a simple text to friends, or selecting one kitchen drawer to declutter. Whatever you choose, remember to congratulate yourself on taking the time to do it! Celebrating your efforts is an important part of the self-care journey.

If you need more inspiration, sign up for my free toolkit, 5 Simple Strategies to Build Resilience and Reduce Burnout. Remember, you’re not alone in this journey. Support is available to help you identify and live by your strengths and values.

Let these few months of summer be time for you to exhale and create ways to build resilience through self-care.

Three Reasons to Find Your Resilience Support Team

This post was originally written in December 2021 and revised on December 3, 2024

This time of the year is for traditions, celebrations, and community. It’s also a time for rest, darkness, and solitude. In some ways, this time of the year is a paradox for me. How can I be both happy and sad at the same time? Can I be in the dark area of my soul and then see the light?

As I have aged, I have felt this paradox more strongly than ever. I see both sides of the story. I want to be with family and friends, yet sometimes I just want to sit on my bed by myself. The paradox is confusing. Life isn’t as cut and dried as we sometimes think it needs to be.

I want you to know that if you feel the season’s push and pull, that is perfect. You are feeling aware and know that most people’s lives are not like the family photo on the Facebook page. 

In the past, I have worked with a small school where I was lucky enough to support staff professional development working on resilience skills. The resource we use is a book written by Elena Aguilar, Onward Cultivating Emotional Resilience in Educators. It is an excellent resource; I used it for three years in a Professional Learning Community with the staff members. 

In 2020, I was part of a statewide Social and Emotional Learning cohort that used Onward as a resource for administrators and leadership. This was at the height of the pandemic, and we found Onward to be an extremely useful resource for us. The leadership team at the small school I served wanted to bring this resource to their staff and community.

The first cohort of staff and community members was created in June 2021. We were a small group reading and discussing several chapters in the book over a twelve-month span. There are 12 chapters, one for each month, each with a different skill to grow within ourselves. At the same time, I also joined an online book club the author and her team facilitated. In both groups, we met each month to read and discuss chapters.

The administration and staff received the focus on resilience so well that I was able to facilitate two more Professional Learning Community cohorts for the school I served with teaching and support staff. In all, I have read Onward at least three times, and each time, I have found value in the chapters, but mainly in the discussion with others.

There were three needs that I saw being addressed in all the groups:

  1. The need for community and support. We need to know that we are doing this together. Multiple emotions come up throughout the day, at work and home. Knowing we are not alone in that feeling makes it okay. Giving voice to what you feel is a path to self-awareness and self-management.
  1. Learning skills that can be used to build our own resilience. Onward and many other resources are full of skills to develop our resilience. Knowing and implementing those skills can be a way for adults in the school or organization to regulate their nervous system (calm brain and body). There are many ways to regulate, and you can pick and choose what will work for you.
  1. Stress relief is huge and needed! One of the ways the groups relieve stress for me is through authentic connection. At the beginning of our sessions, we have a set of norms. We talk about having confidentiality within the group. This norm helps to give people a safe space to be authentic and vulnerable. Growth and learning can happen when we feel safe in a relationship. 

“Even when I know better, I don’t always do better without constant practice and support.”

We go for the immediate rewards of the short sprint when we really need the consistency of the long haul. Building resilience, emotional intelligence, and ways to relieve stress, plus doing it with the support of a community, is the life preserver that we all need. I hope you find that group of compassionate adults who can support you in 2025. 

Wishing you all the best in 2025!!

Three Steps to Reduce Stress

Stress is a constant in life. There are stressors throughout the day that you need to contend with, like getting to work on time, being able to put food on the table, paying bills, and taking time to grow relationships. These are all good things, but they are daily events that can be stressful.

How we handle these daily stressful events depends on how we build in small, doable, stress-relieving activities throughout the day—activities that bring laughter, emotion, connection, and fun. 

Step one is a crucial foundation for stress management. It involves stopping and noticing. Pay attention to what your mind is saying. Your thoughts can be the most stress-inducing event of the day. What are you saying to yourself, what is happening in your body, and how are you feeling? Noticing these signals can take just a few moments. When feeling unsafe, your brain releases cortisol and adrenaline hormones, activating the amygdala and hypothalamus. But by recognizing these signs, you can take control and manage your stress. 

Shifting from the amygdala, the part of the brain that is ready to jump into action to keep us safe, to the prefrontal cortex, the thinking part, can take twelve or more seconds. Stop right now and count slowly to 12. Great! If you were feeling stressed, you took some time to notice and shift.

If you have accomplished step one, that is huge! When you can stop and notice, you are doing a big service for yourself. You recognize the state you are in and honor yourself.

Step two is to shift your state of mind when you are in a fight, flight, freeze, or fawn response. Most people know the fight, flight, and freeze response to danger and stress. The fawn response is one of appeasing the danger, not being able to set clear boundaries, or saying no. 

Shifting your state is about finding ways to release the feel-good hormone of oxytocin into the brain. There are many ways to do this shift and build short, doable actions into your daily life. Here are just a few things you can try:

  • Physical touch that is with someone you trust, hugging, holding hands, kissing, massage
  • High-intensity exercise
  • Listening to music or singing with a group
  • Social activities with a friend or seeing your family 
  • Cuddle with a pet
  • Laughter looking at funny videos or laughing with friends is even better.

Step three is to reflect on the event that increased the stress response. After a stress response, and you feel calm, ask yourself, “What just happened? “What was that all about? ” Take the time to find out what needs were not being met for you and what you can do next time to better manage your stress. Journaling your answers or discussing them with a trusted person can be helpful. You might want to seek professional help if this situation is difficult.

Many people experience chronic stress, stress that is at low continuous levels, keeping the stress response system always on alert. After a while, this constant release of cortisol into the body can contribute to long-term health problems like heart disease and diabetes.

Fortunately, you can learn these techniques to reduce stress. It takes a little time to build them into your daily routine, creating a habit that will, in the long term, change how you respond to stress. When you can make this small change in your life, a ripple effect can happen, touching the lives of those all around you.
If you are looking for more tips on how to build resiliency into your life and workplace culture, click HERE to sign up for my newsletter.

Three Questions to Discover What Engages You(th)

When I talk with educators and staff from the helping professions, they are often so busy and caught up in work and life that they lose the brilliant part of themselves. The part that comes alive lets them live in the flow, and they know what truly excites them. 

Do you want to explore that part of who you are?

Embrace the power of self-reflection. Find a serene spot, armed with a journal, pen, and your favorite beverage. Set aside 10 minutes of uninterrupted time. Engage with the questions below, penning or doodling your responses. This process of self-discovery is a crucial step toward understanding your passions and strengths.

  • Imagine waking up one morning with the freedom to engage in any activity or activities for as long as you desire. What would these activities be? 
  • When in your life do you feel happiest? What are you doing at those times?
  • Have you ever been so engrossed in an activity that you completely lost track of time? This state of ‘flow’, where you are fully immersed and enjoying what you’re doing, is a powerful indicator of an activity that brings you joy and fulfilment. Can you recall those moments of ‘flow ‘and what you were doing?

Your time is up! Read what you wrote. 

What is your Spark? 

According to Peter Benson, past CEO and president of the Search Institute, Sparks are skills, talents, or interests that a young person (or you) finds deeply motivating. They are hidden flames in youth (and adults) that light their provable fire, excite them, and tap into their true passions. Strength is a term that may also describe Sparks.

When paired with core values, Sparks can give you a firm direction for what you want from life and how you want to engage in it. When you share your core values and Sparks with someone close to you, and they listen, the experience can help you define what matters to you and who you are.

Connection between Sparks and Engagement

Focusing on our strengths and innate talents can significantly improve our lives. According to a Gallup survey, only 23% of employees worldwide feel engaged in their work. Disengagement in the workplace decreases employee productivity and well-being. However, when employees know and use their talents and strengths at work, workplace engagement increases to 50%. 

When leadership intentionally focuses on strengths by acknowledging best practices, engagement in the workplace grows to 72%. When we can tap into strengths in our jobs and daily lives, we ‘show up’ at our best and can more easily connect with and identify the strengths of the youth in our schools and programs. Your engagement grows when you are convicted of your strengths (sparks) and values. 

Try This!

  • Ask the youth in the classroom or program the questions above and find their answers. Then, give the youth time to express their Sparks within the program or learning environment.
  • Play “Would You Rather” with Sparks and make participants choose. Examples are:
    • Play music or listen to music
    • Read a book or write a book
    • Work inside or work outside
    • Eat a meal or cook a meal
  • Journal about Kathryn Lasky’s quote, “A spark can become a flame, a flame a fire.” How can you fan the flames to help your Spark become a fire?

Tapping into your sparks daily can help you and the youth you work with identify and tap into their Sparks. When you support youth in developing their Sparks, you increase engagement, strengthen relationships, and create a community where everyone thrives!

Wellbeing in the Classroom Video Series

This is a video series on developing well-being for educators and students. In this course, you will dive into the world of wellness, learning how to tackle stress head-on and adopt a mindset geared towards well-being. You will explore ways to bring activities promoting wellness into your life and classrooms, creating a positive atmosphere where everyone can thrive. It’s all about finding balance and building resilience for yourselves and your students.

The video series is focused on educators in the classroom; however, the concepts and resources can be used by anyone in the helping profession working with youth. This series is for helping the helpers that are in the world doing good work! This is for you, my dear friend.

Check the show notes of each video. Many have resources and free downloads below to support you in bringing well-being into the classroom, school, program, organization, and your life! 

Also, remember to subscribe to the Wildewood Learning YouTube Channel so that you can keep up with upcoming videos and resources.