The High Cost of Trauma

“Trauma: I don’t have any trauma in my life! I came from a good family with supportive parents, had a roof over my head, and food on the table. My life is great! So why do I need to be aware of the effects of trauma on me?”

These are the thoughts I had before learning about the effects of Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) and Secondary Traumatic Stress on a person. 

Now, don’t get me wrong. In childhood, I did have supportive parents, a roof over my head, and food on the table. However, as a child, my weight was a great source of bullying, which led me down the road of starting to diet in 8th grade, leading to my struggles with body image.  

In my adult life, my husband and I adopted children from foster care. We had a big house and lots of love in our hearts to open our home to a sibling group. This experience is how I learned about secondary traumatic stress. 

Secondary traumatic stress is a psychological condition when a person is exposed to the traumatic experiences of another person. Our children had experienced multiple losses and chronic stress in their short lives. Those past losses and stressors showed up in challenging behaviors I didn’t understand, creating a lot of stress for my husband and me. 

My journey has opened my eyes to the pervasive nature of trauma.

The trauma of the past doesn’t leave our systems; it doesn’t magically disappear. Without deeper examination and taking responsibility for our well-being, our trauma shows up in so many different ways, especially in workplaces that don’t feel psychologically safe. 

The Campaign for Trauma-Informed Policy and Practices has estimated that the cost of an unsafe workplace can reduce productivity by up to 20%, and replacing an employee who leaves the organization can cost up to $25,000 to that organization. In recent years, I have known many veteran educators and non-profit staff who have left an organization or school due to a toxic workplace. Think of the years of experience, professional development, and expertise an organization puts into that person walking out the door.  

Plus, there are the healthcare impacts of an unsafe workplace culture. More sick days are taken, higher levels of burnout, and more significant claims to health insurance. These financial and healthcare implications should serve as a wake-up call to the importance of addressing trauma in the workplace.

Did you know:

70% of adults have experienced at least one traumatic event

20% have four or more ACEs and

5% have been diagnosed with PTSD or Complex PTSD

I can go on with the statistics; however, I think you get the picture. People come with trauma and chronic stress from their lives in to the workplace. That trauma and stress can’t just be left at the door. When the workplace culture feels unsafe to them, they react. 

What might the reactions look like? Here are a few indicators,

  • Overly sensitive to feedback
  • Regularly calling in sick
  • Working extremely long hours that leads to burnout
  • Hard time making decisions
  • Complaining about everything

What can you do to create a workplace that feels safe?

  • Awareness is the first step. Leadership needs to acknowledge the losses through the impact of trauma, chronic stress, and unsafe workplace culture.
  • Create a safe environment where employees feel heard and seen through the organizations’ routines, protocols, and policies.
  • Connection and communication is key throughout the organization. 
  • Leaders are role models for their staff in the need for well-being practices. These practices can shift a situation’s energy from shame and blame to curiosity and understanding.
  • Shifting the conversation from “What’s wrong with you?” to “What’s happened to you?” to “What’s right with you?” 

These shifts in the workplace must be accompanied by personal responsibility. When each individual in the system recognizes their role and commits to growing in self-awareness, alongside the changes from leadership, the workplace can transform from a toxic environment to one of purpose and enjoyment. 
Check out the other resources on the Wildewood Learning blog to grow your knowledge in trauma-informed resiliency practices for organizations and schools.

The Hope and Healing of Developmental Trauma

Do you like puzzles? You may be drawn to picture or word puzzles. I like Wordle, and my oldest son likes the 1000-piece picture puzzles. He spreads them out on the table and separates the pieces into categories. Edge pieces, pieces with different color groups, each go into a little pile on the dining room table. He then starts putting them in the right spot and sees the pattern begin. It takes a lot of time and thought to transform a thousand pieces into a beautiful scene.

Developmental or childhood trauma is not just a puzzle; it’s a complex, multi-piece puzzle. However, you don’t have all the pieces, or some of the pieces have edges that are chewed up or broken off. You might not know the picture you are trying to create when putting the pieces together. The puzzle pieces don’t fit quite right, and your picture has blurred images, holes, and spaces. Putting all the pieces together might take a lot of time and thought, so much so that you need to come back to the puzzle multiple times for different lengths of time. You feel frustrated, anxious, and disappointed because the pieces are not fitting together, and you don’t know why.

Developmental trauma is complex, especially when it happens at a young age. Our mind likes to fill in the holes and make meaning of an event, making assumptions. We may remember a glimpse of an image, feeling, or smell; our brain reacts when that happens, creating a belief that we are safe or not safe. If the brain determines that it’s not a safe situation, the nervous system tells the body that it’s not safe. This reaction happens without awareness, creating a fight, flight, or freeze reaction. The memories of not being safe are stored in our bodies at a very young age and can leave lasting effects into adulthood. 

Trauma is not the experience; it’s how your body perceives the experience. Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) such as neglect, abuse, violence, and household instability can be the culprits of developmental trauma. Left alone at too young of an age, lack of food or care by trusted adults can cause profound wounds. The wounds of trauma need healing at each developmental stage.

The trauma response of fight, flight, or freeze manifests in challenging behaviors that the individual may not understand the underlying cause of. When a child or adult enters the stress response, the resulting reaction can leave those around them wondering what is wrong. Recognizing these signs and understanding the underlying trauma is not just crucial; it’s a responsibility to provide the support and care they need. 

However, trauma awareness is not just a tool; it’s a powerful tool for those with developmental trauma and for those who support them. It can clearly explain why they might struggle to form solid relationships, trust others, or feel safe. It can also shed light on the persistent feelings of anxiety, depression, anger, or shame that they experience.

Once developmental trauma is identified, the support and understanding of those around the individual can truly make a difference. Shedding light on behaviors that are not a true reflection of the person but are a result of what happened to them is a crucial step in the healing process.

There are some great resources to dive deeper into Developmental Trauma:

The Body Keeps the Score by Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk

What Happened to You? By Dr. Bruce Perry and Oprah Winfrey

My Grandmother’s Hands by Resmaa Menakem

These books and many more resources explain developmental trauma in detail and offer hope and the healing that is needed. 

Understanding the impact of trauma, especially on youth and children, can help us better understand behaviors and respond with compassion to support a child. Being informed and recognizing the signs and symptoms of trauma in children can support the integration of trauma awareness into policies, procedures, and practices. The services provided by Wildewood Learning can support your school or organization in adopting a new approach to shifting the paradigm in how we serve, learn, and grow.

Four Resources for Exploring Culture

Culture is described in the dictionary as “the customs, arts, social institutions, and achievements of a particular nation, people, or other social group.”
In May 2020, the murder of George Floyd occurred in Minneapolis, Minnesota—my home state—the state of Minnesota Nice. Minnesotans are white Scandinavian folks that eat lefsa and bring hotdishes to potlucks at the church. The event did not fit my perceived image of Minnesota culture. There was something I needed to explore and get curious about that was not within my worldview.

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Six Books on My Summer Reading List

In my past posts, I have talked about how I take some time over the summer to dive into learning things I want to know about. Many times that includes books. I am a book lover; I buy books that look interesting to me, and then they sit on my shelf, collecting dust and looking like I am more intellectual than I really am. Many of these books are on subjects I want to deepen my understanding to include the information in my keynote speeches and training. This summer is the summer of deepening my knowledge of trauma-informed work.

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What are You Carrying in Your Invisible Backpack

Have you ever stood outside a busy school and noticed all the bags and backpacks carried by students and teachers? The small backpack with a cute design on the front. Or the large over-the-shoulder backpack that could store everything, plus the kitchen sink!  

We all have invisible backpacks that we carry with us to school or the workplace every day. Sometimes that inviable backpack is light; we have everything we need to feel safe and to go through our day. Then there are days when the invisible backpack is incredibly heavy, maybe even overwhelming.

An invisible backpack can be filled with,

  • Caring for an elderly family member
  • Someone being sick
  • Grief over a loss of a loved one
  • Concern for a family member with mental health issues
  • Paying bills
  • Losing a job
  • Not knowing where the next meal is coming from
  • The high expectations at work

Even positive activities can add to the weight of the invisible backpack, attending activities outside the work day and the tough decisions that need to be made, like what to make for supper. This backpack can be a heavy load carried daily by the people at your work.

Some days people come well-adjusted and well-prepared to take on the day; other days, not so much.

  • What might your colleagues be carrying in their invisible backpacks?
  • What might you be carrying in your invisible backpacks?

“Consider that everyone is doing the best they can.

Based on their knowledge, skills, and experiences,

they are making the best choices available to them. 

Including you.”

Elana Aguilar. Onward

I have worked in several different school districts as a teacher. I had colleagues come to me and complain about another staff member that they perceived was not doing enough in the classroom, not being on committees, or leaving right at the end of contract time. I have also been that teacher to complain about others on staff. Little did I know what that person was carrying in their invisible backpack and how hurtful those assumptions can be on the workplace culture. In the workplace, there must be a balance of grace and compassion with work expectations.

Grace, compassion, and setting expectations for yourself and others are subjects that I have covered in the past. Grace to let go of my closely held expectations and simple acts of compassion can create a connection with others.

Grace can show up in your workplace by extending forgiveness to a colleague, overlooking an off-hand comment, or giving someone another chance. 

Compassion involves not simply observing and feeling for the person in suffering but taking action to alleviate a person’s suffering. Compassion is different than empathy which is putting yourself in another’s shoes, and sympathy or pity creates an emotional distance between you and the other person. Compassion starts with listening with an open heart. Also, compassion for others begins with self-compassion, extending kindness to yourself, and refraining from the self-critical unforgiving voice in your head. 

Expectations sometimes need to be lowered for us to have the strength and energy to make changes.

When you hold a space filled with grace, compassion, and lower expectations, you aren’t advocating for making excuses but for understanding ourselves and our co-workers.

You can increase your compassion and grace with co-workers by telling and listening to another’s story. Start a staff meeting or conversation with one of the sentence starters below and listen closely to the answers you hear. 

  • A positive experience I had with a co-worker was …
  • A teacher that positively impacted me was ….
  • Three things I’d like you to know about me are …

Bring grace and compassion into your workplace by recognizing the load some people are carrying and knowing they are doing their best at the moment, just like you.

Sources:

Onward: Cultivating Emotional Resilience in Educators by Elena Aguilar

White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack by Peggy McIntosh

Introduction to Trauma Informed Education workbook by Dr. Jessica Doering