Stress is a constant in life. There are stressors throughout the day that you need to contend with, like getting to work on time, being able to put food on the table, paying bills, and taking time to grow relationships. These are all good things, but they are daily events that can be stressful.

How we handle these daily stressful events depends on how we build in small, doable, stress-relieving activities throughout the day—activities that bring laughter, emotion, connection, and fun. 

Step one is a crucial foundation for stress management. It involves stopping and noticing. Pay attention to what your mind is saying. Your thoughts can be the most stress-inducing event of the day. What are you saying to yourself, what is happening in your body, and how are you feeling? Noticing these signals can take just a few moments. When feeling unsafe, your brain releases cortisol and adrenaline hormones, activating the amygdala and hypothalamus. But by recognizing these signs, you can take control and manage your stress. 

Shifting from the amygdala, the part of the brain that is ready to jump into action to keep us safe, to the prefrontal cortex, the thinking part, can take twelve or more seconds. Stop right now and count slowly to 12. Great! If you were feeling stressed, you took some time to notice and shift.

If you have accomplished step one, that is huge! When you can stop and notice, you are doing a big service for yourself. You recognize the state you are in and honor yourself.

Step two is to shift your state of mind when you are in a fight, flight, freeze, or fawn response. Most people know the fight, flight, and freeze response to danger and stress. The fawn response is one of appeasing the danger, not being able to set clear boundaries, or saying no. 

Shifting your state is about finding ways to release the feel-good hormone of oxytocin into the brain. There are many ways to do this shift and build short, doable actions into your daily life. Here are just a few things you can try:

• Physical touch that is with someone you trust, hugging, holding hands, kissing, massage
• High-intensity exercise
• Listening to music or singing with a group
• Social activities with a friend or seeing your family 
• Cuddle with a pet
• Laughter looking at funny videos or laughing with friends is even better.

Step three is to reflect on the event that increased the stress response. After a stress response, and you feel calm, ask yourself, “What just happened? “What was that all about? ” Take the time to find out what needs were not being met for you and what you can do next time to better manage your stress. Journaling your answers or discussing them with a trusted person can be helpful. You might want to seek professional help if this situation is difficult.

Many people experience chronic stress, stress that is at low continuous levels, keeping the stress response system always on alert. After a while, this constant release of cortisol into the body can contribute to long-term health problems like heart disease and diabetes.

Fortunately, you can learn these techniques to reduce stress. It takes a little time to build them into your daily routine, creating a habit that will, in the long term, change how you respond to stress. When you can make this small change in your life, a ripple effect can happen, touching the lives of those all around you.
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