Five Therapeutic Tools for Non-Therapists

I have been in many therapists ‘, social workers’, or mental health professionals’ offices over the years. I mostly attended appointments with family members, as well as a few for myself. It hasn’t always been easy to get an appointment or set up a screening when needed, and that is only going to get more difficult in the United States.

Living in rural America presents a unique challenge, with a staggering 160 million people in rural areas grappling with a severe shortage of mental health professionals. The need for over 8,000 additional providers nationally is a pressing issue that demands immediate attention. (commonwealthfund.org) 

I live in rural America, a small community on the Canadian border. We are fortunate to have a community hospital, as the next closest hospital would be 60 miles away. We are lucky to have a behavioral health department in the hospital, staffed with several therapists and social workers. I hope that our luck doesn’t run out.

When working with individuals who serve children and youth, I share that you don’t have to be a therapist to be therapeutic with the people you serve. However, you do need to have a few skills and knowledge in your toolbox to draw upon so that you can help children and youth. 

Two weeks ago, I had the opportunity to attend a conference where Dr. Bruce Perry discussed this very topic. I have been a fan of Dr. Perry’s ever since I read his book, “The Boy Who was Raised as a Dog,” and his more recent book with Oprah Winfrey, “What Happened to You?” He has worked with children who have experienced trauma for many years. 

Here are five key takeaways I gleaned from his presentation.

  1. Be Relationally Present

Put down the phone and meet the needs of the children who are in your presence with intention. Provide them with the attentive and kind interactions needed in the moment. It is in the small positive interactions that create a safe and connected environment for healing to occur.

  1. Provide Psychoeducation

If you interact with children, families, or colleagues, it is essential to understand the normal stress response. You need to recognize the response to stress in yourself and others. Often, in children, the stress response manifests as aggression, hyperactivity, or shutdown. Children in a stressful situation are not selecting their behaviors; they are reacting to fear, leading to behaviors labeled as challenging. Punishment and compliance don’t work; understanding and helping to mitigate the stressors work. 

  1. Teaching Sensory Support

You can teach simple, easy routines to children and families to help reduce stressors. Activities that engage the physical are the best, such as knitting, running, sculpting, and playing musical instruments. This is why the arts and outdoor recess are so important, not just in elementary age, but at all ages. These are opportunities to provide physical and emotional regulation. 

  1. Agency and Support

Encouraging understanding that you have agency in taking care of your basic needs (sleep, exercise, nutrition, connection) so that you can be your best self to support others. When serving at full capacity as an educator, social worker, or childcare provider, it is essential to understand the impact you have on the youth and children in your care. When you take care of your own needs, you can then create environments that feel safe for children and families to attend to their own needs.

  1. Community Engagement

Positive Childhood Experiences (PCEs) can significantly lessen the effects of Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs). The seven actions that support PCEs are all relationally based, emphasizing the profound impact of individual relationships on a child’s world. Whether you’re a coach, a teacher, a neighbor, a friend’s parent, or a youth leader, your role in creating space for children and youth to have positive and safe relationships is invaluable. Every adult who fosters such relationships is making a therapeutic difference in a child’s life.

If you are implementing any of these five strategies in your home, workplace, or community, you are playing a crucial role in supporting the mental health of children and youth. Dr. Perry’s talk reveals that healing from trauma is not primarily about clinical interventions, but about rebuilding human connections. Our modern world has systematically dismantled the relational networks that historically supported human development, creating environments of stress and disconnection. The brain, an incredibly complex organ, thrives on predictable, moderate challenges and consistent, attuned interactions. 
This is not intended to discourage seeking professional therapy when needed, but rather to emphasize the vital role of community interactions in fostering healing. Actual therapeutic work occurs not in isolated therapy sessions, but in communities where individuals—parents, neighbors, coaches, and educators—understand how to be present, responsive, and supportive. By recognizing that resilience is built through small, repeated moments of safety and connection, we can transform our approach to mental health from an individual medical model to a collective, compassionate community strategy.

Real Self-Care is Rooted in Strengths

Recently, I attended a Restorative Justice Program conference with practitioners and youth from throughout the state. This conference was different than other conferences I had attended. I could tell as I walked into the opening session conference room. 

The room had chairs arranged into five large circles. The room host said, “Choose the circle that speaks to you.” As I walked around the room and looked at the items in the middle of each circle, I noticed a deck of cards in the center of one of the circles. Written on the deck box cover was the phrase: Rest is Resistance. This concept, which I had heard for the second time in less than a week, suggests that rest is not a passive act, but a form of resistance against the societal pressures that often lead to burnout. This must be a signal that this was the circle for me.

As the conference proceeded, on the second day, I selected a circle discussion on self-care. The Circle Keeper (the facilitator) asked a question about our emotions. However, instead of saying an emotion, she associated emotion words with animals and plants. So, if you felt sad, you were a Weeping Willow, or if you felt tired, you were an Owl. Sometimes, a person was a combination of more than one emotion.

The second round of questions focused on incorporating self-care into our lives across various categories: physical, emotional, environmental, social, mental, spiritual, intellectual, and financial. The facilitator provided examples and explained how to create combinations of self-care activities. While we don’t need activities from every category, it’s important to find ways to prioritize self-care. It was great to hear everyone share their goals for enhancing self-care and aspects of their lives that already support it.

As you move into the summer season (here in the northern hemisphere), take the time to stop and consider your self-care combination. Your strengths and values are good places to turn to help you develop a summer plan.

One of my strengths from the CliftonStrengths assessment is that I am a Learner. As a Learner, I enjoy the process of learning, plus one of my top values is a love of learning. When I lean into my strengths and values, self-care looks like spending time reading a book in my backyard on the patio. This understanding of my strengths and values empowers me to make self-care choices that truly resonate with me. 

In a training I facilitated on Strengths in Action, a session that focuses on leveraging your unique strengths to promote self-care, I asked participants to reflect on their strengths and recall when one or more of their strengths helped them in self-care. The conversation reflected on the resilience they had built through leaning into their strengths in ways that promoted self-care. 

You can do the same! Here are a few questions to start you on your way:

  1. What are your strengths? 

If you are unsure, I facilitate Strength Conversations with individuals and teams that can help you become aware and take action to support your self-care.

  1. What are your values? 

This is another area in which I support individuals and teams in growing to be their best for the people they serve. 

  1. What area do you want to focus on for self-care? 

Select one category: Physical, Emotional, Environmental, Social, Mental, Spiritual, Intellectual, or Financial. Some activities can be in more than one area. You choose!

  1. When will you practice?

Build the activity into your daily calendar. It’s better to start small, like a 10-minute walk, a 5-minute rest, a simple text to friends, or selecting one kitchen drawer to declutter. Whatever you choose, remember to congratulate yourself on taking the time to do it! Celebrating your efforts is an important part of the self-care journey.

If you need more inspiration, sign up for my free toolkit, 5 Simple Strategies to Build Resilience and Reduce Burnout. Remember, you’re not alone in this journey. Support is available to help you identify and live by your strengths and values.

Let these few months of summer be time for you to exhale and create ways to build resilience through self-care.

How Gratitude is a Tool for Resilience

Do you share my love for reading? I always have a book (or ten) by my bedside, and my TBR (To Be Read) stack is taller than some of my bookcases. Reading has been a lifelong passion for me. As a child, it was a way for me to escape into a world more thrilling than the one I was living in at the moment.

Reading is a powerful tool for personal and professional growth. It can help you gain new perspectives on the world. For my book club, I recently read Robin Wall Kimmerer’s The Serviceberry: An Economy of Abundance. This insightful essay, which has now evolved into a book, offers a unique perspective on abundance and gratitude.

Kimmerer, also the author of Braiding Sweetgrass, a number-one bestseller, weaves Indigenous wisdom, ecological systems, and the ethic of reciprocity to reimagine a different type of economy—a gift economy. She explores what it means to create a world where reciprocity and gratitude help meet the needs of ourselves and our communities.

Gratitude is one of those skills that creates resilience within ourselves and our organizations.

Kimmerer writes:

“Gratitude is so much more than a polite ‘thank you.’ It is the thread that connects us in a deep relationship, simultaneously physical and spiritual, as our bodies are fed and spirits nourished by the sense of belonging, which is the most vital of foods. Gratitude creates a sense of abundance, the knowing that you have what you need. In that climate of sufficiency, our hunger for more abates and we take only what we need, in respect for the generosity of the giver.”

Take a moment to reflect on gratitude. What resonates with you in Kimmerer’s words? What are you grateful for in your life? Where do you feel abundant? Who can you express your thanks to? These reflections can bring a deeper appreciation for the richness in your life.

Gratitude, abundance, generosity, and giving are all ways to build resilience. Resilience is the ability to bounce back from adversity. However, when we bounce back, we usually need a hand to hold, a place to recognize our needs, and space to be held.

Today, I am grateful for you. Know that I am holding your hands, inviting you to a place to recognize what you need, and making space for you in my heart. Now, go out and serve with your whole heart.

A Story of Hope

Last week, I shared about a teacher in Idaho who was asked to take down an “Everyone is Welcome Here” sign in her classroom. Watching the students’ response gives me hope for the future! Their resilience and commitment to inclusivity remind us of the power of standing together and expressing gratitude for the communities we build.

Let’s continue to cultivate gratitude and resilience in our daily lives. What are you grateful for today?