Last spring, I attended a Restorative Justice Program conference with practitioners and youth from across the state. Almost immediately, I noticed something different about this conference compared to others I’ve attended.
As I walked into the opening session, the room was arranged in five large circles of chairs. The host greeted us and said, “Choose the circle that speaks to you.”
In the center of each circle were a few objects, simple items meant to invite reflection and conversation. As I walked around the room, one circle caught my attention. In the center sat a small deck of cards. On the cover of the box was a phrase I had heard twice in less than a week: Rest is Resistance. That phrase stayed with me throughout the conference.
In organizations that serve children, youth, and families, the pressure to keep going is constant. The work is meaningful and important, but it can also be emotionally demanding. Staff often move quickly from one responsibility to the next, responding to urgent needs and difficult situations. In that kind of environment, rest can feel like a luxury.
But restorative practices remind us of something important: people cannot care for others when their own systems are constantly operating in survival mode. Rest isn’t about disengaging from the work. It is about creating the conditions that allow people to stay present, compassionate, and effective in their work.
The Power of the Circle
Later in the conference, I joined a circle discussion focused on self-care.
The Circle Keeper, the facilitator, guided us through a simple but powerful activity. Instead of asking participants to name an emotion directly, she invited us to associate our emotions with plants or animals.
Someone feeling sad might describe themselves as a Weeping Willow.
Someone who feels tired might say they are an Owl.
Some participants found themselves identifying with more than one. The activity created a space where people could acknowledge how they were feeling without pressure or judgment. Within minutes, the circle felt more connected. What struck me about this activity was how quickly it helped people access their emotions in a safe and creative way.
In many workplaces, staff are expected to move quickly from one task to the next without ever pausing to name how they are actually feeling. Yet the emotional weight of the work does not simply disappear. Restorative practices create moments of pause. They allow people to reflect, reconnect, and listen to one another. Those moments matter more than we sometimes realize.
Restorative Practices Are Not Only for Resolving Conflict
Many people associate restorative practices with responding to harm or repairing relationships after conflict. But restorative approaches can also be used proactively to support wellbeing within organizations.
Leaders can use restorative methods to:
- create space for reflection and conversation
- support staff in processing difficult experiences
- strengthen trust and psychological safety
- build a culture where people feel heard and valued
When people have opportunities to slow down and reconnect with one another, the work becomes more sustainable. This is especially important in organizations where the emotional demands of the work can be high. When the adults in a system feel supported and connected, they are better able to respond with patience, empathy, and creativity.
Strengths as a Source of Resilience
Another key aspect of restorative self-care is understanding our strengths. One of my strengths from the CliftonStrengths assessment is Learner. I enjoy the process of learning, and one of my core values is a love of learning. When I lean into that strength, self-care often looks simple: sitting outside with a book and taking the time to explore a new idea.
Strengths matter because they remind us that self-care doesn’t have to look the same for everyone. What restores one person may not restore another.
In the trainings I facilitate, participants reflect on how their strengths have helped them through tough moments. Whether someone’s strength is building relationships, executing projects, thinking strategically, or influencing others, these talents can become sources of resilience.
When leaders take the time to help staff recognize and use their strengths, it creates a positive environment where everyone can thrive. This not only supports individual well-being but also strengthens the entire team’s resilience.
Moving Self-Care from Individuals to Systems
Self-care is often seen as an individual duty. We encourage people to take breaks, go for walks, or set healthier boundaries. While these practices can help, they are only part of the whole picture. In organizations serving children, youth, and families, leaders play a critical role in creating conditions that support healing.
Restorative leadership asks questions such as:
- Where do staff have space to pause and reflect?
- How are people supported after emotionally difficult situations?
- How do teams reconnect after challenging experiences?
- How are strengths recognized and used within the organization?
When leaders intentionally create spaces for reflection and connection, self-care becomes supported by the organization’s culture, not something individuals must manage on their own.
A Small Step Toward Restoration
If you are thinking about your own self-care or your team’s well-being, start small.
Consider one area of wellbeing you would like to strengthen: physical, emotional, social, environmental, mental, spiritual, intellectual, or financial.
Then ask yourself: What is one small action that could support restoration?
It might be a short walk during the day.
A moment of quiet reflection.
A conversation with a colleague.
Or simply creating a few minutes of pause between meetings.
Small practices can have a powerful impact over time.
Creating Cultures of Care
Your work always requires energy, commitment, and compassion. Restorative leadership reminds us that care and recovery must go hand in hand with the work. When leaders create space for reflection, connection, and strengths-based support, self-care becomes more than just an individual practice; it becomes part of the organization’s culture. And when the adults in a system are supported and renewed, the children and families they serve benefit the most.
Through Wildewood Learning, I work with organizations that serve children, youth, and families to develop trauma-informed, strength-based leadership practices that foster cultures supporting both staff well-being and effective service. If your organization is looking for ways to incorporate restorative practices and build resilience within your teams, I’d love to connect.
