Have you ever tried to give up something? 

I recently went through the season of Lent. I am Lutheran and follow the Lenten tradition of giving something up for the season. This practice involves giving up something challenging for the 40 days leading up to Lent. 

Most years, I give up a type of food or drink I like to indulge in regularly, something that would improve my health if I gave it up for 40 days.

This year, I thought I would try something different; this year, I gave up self-doubt. 

I have a habit of doubting myself. When I want to move forward on a new idea, thoughts flood in: it’s not a good idea, it’s too hard, or other people can do it better than I can. Those thoughts stop me in my tracks as I head down into the deep spiral of doubt.

Recognizing when I am doubting myself is the first step. I don’t always recognize it for what it is. The second step is to create habits that prevent me from taking the next steps into the deep-doubt hole.

Honestly, I wish I had given up chocolate; that is much easier than self-doubt.

You want positive relationships in your work and personal life; you need a positive connection with yourself. That is where you need to start.

I have started to develop more trust in myself by learning new tools and remembering the ones I already have in my toolbox.

One resource I am using is a course by Katie Kurtz called TRUST Works. TRUST stands for Trauma-Informed Relational Upskilling & Systems Transformation. In the first segment of the online training, Katie addresses the most important type of trust: trusting yourself. She reminds us that trust is built through everyday actions, not grand gestures. 

In trusting myself, I start with self-compassion and recognize that life is hard at times. Katie shares tools to build self-awareness and self-regulation so you can begin to trust yourself. 

Another resource I have been drawing on is Joe Brummer and Margaret Thorsborne’s book, Becoming a Trauma-Informed Restorative Educator. In the book and the online discussion, Joe and Marg describe a three-part journey that begins with the personal journey—the unlearning of old ways and mindsets about how you see yourself. 

In the book they share, Part 2 is your professional journey, and Part 3 is the social justice journey in restorative practices. 

Change is not a linear journey through the three parts of the Trauma Informed Educator or through the TRUST Works model. However, it all starts with knowing yourself better so you can trust yourself. 

Knowing your values and strengths is a place to begin developing more trust in yourself. I work with leaders of organizations serving families and children to help them build more trust in themselves so they can be their best for those they serve. 

If you are interested in letting go of self-doubt and trusting yourself more, I would suggest checking out the resources I have mentioned and reaching out to me. We can work together to begin the journey of self-trust and to develop a deeper connection with the relationship that matters most, the relationship with yourself.