How One School Implemented Trauma-Informed Strength-Based Strategies throughout the District

Over the next few weeks, I will share several case studies that illustrate Wildewood Learning’s partnerships with schools and organizations serving families and children, focusing on trauma-informed, strength-based interventions. The first case study I want to share is with a school district I partnered with for 5 years.

Lake of the Woods School is a small rural school district located in Baudette, located in northwestern Minnesota. The district is K-12, housed in one school building, with 450 total students. The mission of the Lake of the Woods School is to ensure that all learner achieve their highest potential and become contributing citizens in a rapidly changing world. Their vision is to be a premier school district that inspires and prepares all learners to thrive today and excel tomorrow.

Challenge

The Lake of the Woods School (LOW) 5-year strategic plan outlined in part to provide student supports by fully implementing Multi-Tiered Systems of Support and Trauma-Informed Schools, plus partnerships to increase social and emotional learning needs of all students. In doing so, they aimed to enhance the school’s climate and culture by fostering respectful and positive communication among all staff and students across the district. The elementary grades had implemented a social and emotional learning program with a dedicated SEL Specialist (Kathryn Magnusson) leading bi-monthly lessons with teachers and students K-6, plus providing resources for classroom teachers; however, not all staff were involved K-12 in the SEL programming.

Solution

Over the course of the five-year plan, Wildewood Learning supported the dedicated staff of Lake of the Woods School with several options for needs assessments and professional development. The journey began with all school staff learning about being a trauma-informed school and the importance of social and emotional learning. Training was provided to classroom teachers, as well as bus drivers, support, custodial and kitchen staff. The district surveyed employees about their support needs. Wildewood Learning collaborated with the administration and SEL committee members to chart a path forward with professional development options, including embedded professional development, Professional Learning Communities, and whole-district professional development, to support Lake of the Woods School in achieving its strategic goals.

Results

Over the five-year partnership, Lake of the Woods School saw measurable growth in its ability to support students through trauma-informed and strength-based practices. What began as a strategic plan goal has become an embedded part of the district’s culture and climate.

  • Increased staff capacity: Surveys showed that staff reported a significant increase in confidence using trauma-informed strategies such as de-escalation, co-regulation, and positive communication.
  • Improved school climate: Office referrals and student behavior incidents decreased across grade levels, reflecting the significant impact of consistent SEL instruction and trauma-informed responses. This positive change reassured the school community about the effectiveness of the program. 
  • Expanded SEL integration: SEL instruction expanded from the elementary level to a schoolwide effort. The high school staff reported that they now integrate SEL strategies into their daily practice, creating a shared language and common expectations for students. This expansion to the high school level showcases the program’s scalability and the staff feel optimistic about its potential impact.
  • Sustained systemwide structures: With a dedicated SEL committee, annual training opportunities, and embedded professional learning communities, Lake of the Woods has built a strong foundation for sustaining trauma-informed, strength-based practices well beyond the original five-year plan.

By doing this work in partnership with Wildewood Learning, Lake of the Woods School has brought its daily practices in line with its mission to help every learner reach their full potential and prepare them to succeed in a world that’s changing quickly.Change doesn’t happen overnight—it happens through intentional partnerships and proven strategies. Wildewood Learning offers customized professional development, consulting, and tools to help schools embed trauma-informed, strength-based practices into daily routines. Let’s connect to discuss how we can support your staff, strengthen relationships, and achieve your district’s goals. Connect with Wildewood Learning  and start today!

Why Behavior Charts Aren’t Working—and What to Try Instead

When I was a teacher, I wasn’t a huge fan of behavior charts. Kids are bright, and some would learn how to work the system to get a sticker, candy, or a reward chip. 

However, when I became a parent to four young children, I was at my wits’ end, trying to curb some of the behaviors that I was experiencing from our children. I reluctantly turned to various behavior modification techniques suggested by my children’s therapists. Some of them worked, for a while; however, none of the tricks were long-term solutions for the behaviors I was struggling with as a parent. I understand the frustration and the feeling of being at a loss that many of you might be experiencing.

“You earned a sticker!” was a phrase we’ve all heard—or used. Sticker charts, color-coded clips, and token systems are common tools in classrooms and childcare settings, designed to shape behavior by rewarding the “good” and discouraging the “bad.”

But if you’ve ever found yourself adding more rules, more rewards, or more consequences just to keep things from spiraling out of control, you’re not alone. The truth is, as I have found and research shows, behavior charts might get short-term compliance—but they rarely lead to long-term change. Why? Because they miss the most essential part: the relationship.

The Problem with Traditional Behavior Charts

On the surface, behavior charts seem harmless. They’re structured, visual, and easy to implement. But dig a little deeper, and their limitations become clear.

  • They focus on control, not connection.
    Most charts are designed to modify outward behavior, not address emotional needs underneath.
  • They rely on external motivation.
    Children “perform” for a sticker or a prize rather than learning to regulate themselves or understand their impact on others.
  • They label kids—often unfairly.
    A child who has a tough start to the day may spend the rest of it feeling like “the bad kid.”
  • They don’t help us understand the why behind behavior.
    Without curiosity, we risk correcting symptoms instead of solving problems.

External Rewards Can Backfire

Behavior charts are classic examples of what author Daniel Pink, in his book Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us, calls “if–then” rewards—if you behave, then you get a sticker. While they may provide short-term results, Pink’s research shows they often come at a cost.

“Rewards can deliver a short-term boost—just as a jolt of caffeine can keep you cranking for a few more hours. But the effect wears off—and, worse, can reduce a person’s longer-term motivation to continue the project.” —Daniel Pink, Drive

Pink outlines seven “deadly flaws” of external rewards like sticker charts. These include extinguishing intrinsic motivation, diminishing performance, crowding out good behavior, and encouraging short-term thinking.

In other words, children may start behaving for the sticker rather than for the joy of learning, relationships, or inner growth. When the chart goes away, so does the behavior. That’s not sustainable. Plus, behavior charts can sometimes make things worse with children who have developmental trauma.

Why Behavior Charts Can Make Things Worse for Children with Trauma

For children with a history of high stress or trauma, behavior isn’t just a choice—it’s often a survival strategy. When a child feels unsafe or overwhelmed (even in a classroom), their nervous system may shift into a protective state: fight, flight, freeze, or fawn.

Let’s look at how that plays out:

  • A child in fight mode might hit, yell, or defy.
  • A child in flight mode may run away, hide, or avoid tasks.
  • A freeze response might look like zoning out, going silent, or seeming unmotivated.
  • A child in fawn mode might people-please, go along with anything, or become overly compliant—even at the expense of their own needs.

When we respond to these survival behaviors with behavior charts—“You’re on red for yelling,” “No sticker today because you didn’t follow directions”—we risk compounding the child’s distress. These tools interpret stress responses as misbehavior, and children often internalize the shame:

“I’m bad.”
“I never do anything right.”
“No one sees how hard I’m trying.”

Instead of soothing the nervous system, these public reward-punishment systems can escalate a stress response, particularly for children whose brains are wired for protection, not connection.

A New Lens: Behavior as Communication

What if, instead of seeing behavior as something to control, we saw it as a message?

Children, especially in early childhood, often struggle to find the words to express their needs. So they use the tools they have: crying, running, hitting, hiding, refusing. Every behavior is a signal—sometimes of stress, sometimes of unmet needs, and sometimes of strengths used in unhelpful ways. Understanding this can help us respond to the underlying issue rather than just the behavior itself.

When we shift from “What’s wrong with this child?” to “What is this child trying to tell me?”—everything changes.

What to Try Instead

Here are four relational, strengths-based practices that can replace behavior charts and support deeper, lasting growth.

1. Start with Safety and Connection

Children thrive when they feel safe and seen. Greet them by name. Use warm eye contact. Offer consistent routines. A child who feels emotionally safe is less likely to act out.

2. Co-Regulate First

Before we ask a child to “make a better choice,” we need to help them calm their nervous system. This might look like offering a calming space, using a soft voice, or just sitting quietly beside them. Your calm is contagious. Remember, you also need to regulate yourself before engaging with a dysregulated child. Only an adult with a regulated nervous system can co-regulate with others.

3. Use Strength-Based Language

Instead of saying, “You’re being difficult,” try, “I see you’re determined. Let’s figure this out together.” Reframing behaviors through a strength lens helps children develop a positive identity—even when they’re struggling.

4. Solve Problems With, Not To

Invite children into collaborative problem-solving. “It looks like clean-up time is really hard for you. Let’s talk about what would help.” When kids feel ownership, they’re more likely to engage.

After learning about a trauma-sensitive strength-based approach to a child’s behavior, one of the child care providers in our Strengths-Based Resilience course shared this:


 “I had a child who constantly disrupted circle time—fidgeting, talking, getting up. I tried everything: stickers, red-yellow-green charts, even prizes. Nothing worked. After the course, I realized: maybe circle time wasn’t the problem—maybe sitting still for 20 minutes was too much. We shortened the time, gave him a fidget, and made him the ‘song picker.’ Not only did the behavior improve, but so did our relationship.”

The shift? Less control. More connection. And an understanding of strengths in action.

The Bottom Line

You don’t need a better chart—you need a better lens. One rooted in curiosity, compassion, and connection. When we lead with relationship, children feel safe to grow—not just behave.

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Simple Acts of Compassion Create Connection

Revised from a post in January, 2021

Love your neighbor as yourself. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Many of the wisdom traditions use a version of the Golden Rule. This rule or guideline focuses on connecting with compassion. 

I remember when I was a child growing up in the ’70s and ’80s, I felt loneliness, anxiety, and the stress of expectations. However, the issues of my friendships, where to eat on a Saturday night (Pizza Hut, of course), and what to do when I felt there was nothing else to do, were much simpler than today. Without the invention of texting and social media, I usually didn’t know about a party until after the fact. If my friends decided to go to the movies and I wasn’t home to pick up the phone, my friends made plans. 

It’s different today for the current generation. Children and teens today have instant notifications, instant invitations, or instant connections, all through the little device in their hands. Yet, is it really what they want or need? Research reports a concerning rise in loneliness among teens, young people feeling disconnected and isolated even if they can connect instantly. This rise in adolescent loneliness is often linked to increased social media use and changes in social interactions, especially after the pandemic.

Even though my teen years differ significantly from my young adult children’s, I have compassion for this generation’s young people because of an essential shared human experience. The needs of belonging, connection, and to matter are essential at all stages of life.

I have worked in social and emotional learning for over 18 years. In those years, I have learned that building a connection with several caring, capable, and compassionate adults is essential in a young person’s life. Adults who will listen and seriously attempt to understand are protective factors for children and teens.

Compassion is created from three components – awareness of suffering, action to relieve suffering, and recognizing a shared human experience.

What does compassion look like as a caring adult?

I was working at a day camp one summer, and I saw a young person I knew sitting on the sideline, watching others play a game. I went over the talk to her and struck up a conversation. As I listened with curiosity and asked a few questions, I discovered she didn’t know the game’s rules. So I took the time to explain the rules and asked her to play. Simply listening and inviting her to play is an act of compassion.

The Search Institute, a research organization in Minneapolis, Minnesota, has compiled 40 positive supports and strengths a young person needs to succeed. One area is support: care from family, other adults, community members, and school staff. When a young person feels supported by the adults around him/her, there is a decrease in high-risk behaviors. Simple ways to connect with youth can happen in your community. YOU can play a part in the solution!

Here are ten ways to increase your compassion and connect with a child or teen.

  • Take an interest in an activity a child or teen you know is involved in by attending the activity or asking the teen questions, then listen.
  • Ask a child what they are interested in doing. What are her passions? What sparks his interests? 
  • Play a game of pick-up basketball (or other games) with a group of kids for fun.
  • Invite kids on the sidelines to participate in a game.
  • Give an authentic and specific compliment to a child. An example could be, “Wow, I admire how you organized the books on the shelf.”
  • Do a random act of kindness for a teen.
  • Ask, “What are your dreams?” “Whom would you like to be?”
  • Accept a child for who he or she is, a unique individual.
  • Make sure making mistakes is “okay” for both kids and adults. 
  • Breathe deeply and create a pause before saying something that could harm a child.

If you take steps on even some of these ten simple actions, you will build compassion in yourself over time. These activities will not completely solve our world’s complex problem of loneliness, violence, or inequities; however, it is a start.

Three Action Steps to Creating a Safe Space

Have you ever been in an uncomfortable situation with a client, colleague or employee who emotionally explodes with you? Emoting anger and accusations like a volcano through an email or a text message. You have no idea where all this anger is coming from and why it’s pointed at YOU! You are left wondering, what did I do and what do I do next time when I am in the same room with this person?

This type of situation causes a very uneasy feeling and discomfort in the pit of your stomach, which indicates that you don’t feel safe. Your brain goes into the fight, flight, freeze, or fawn mode, putting you on high alert and recalling other situations where you didn’t feel safe or weren’t able to confront the person. 

I, too, have been in this situation with clients, colleagues and as an employee where there was real tension in the workplace. Gossip, blaming, hostility, and criticism are just some ways a workplace environment can harm relationships and cause real stress for all.

Creating psychological safety in the workplace is crucial, especially for helping professionals who are regularly exposed to emotionally intense situations. Psychological safety—the belief that one can express thoughts, take risks, and be vulnerable without fear of negative consequences—enhances resilience, reduces stress, and fosters a supportive environment that ultimately benefits both the employees and the people they serve. 

How can your workplace foster psychological safety that addresses stress and trauma to support a resilient, emotionally healthy workplace?

The first step is understanding psychological safety and why it’s essential in a workplace.

The term “psychological safety” was popularized by Dr. Amy Edmondson, a Harvard Business School professor who defines it as “a shared belief that the team is safe for interpersonal risk-taking.” In a psychologically safe environment, employees feel comfortable voicing concerns, discussing mistakes, and challenging ideas without fear of being judged or penalized. This means that everyone in the team feels valued and respected and that their contributions are important. The stakes for helping professionals are high, as they often work in environments where they and their clients may be under considerable stress.

A lack of psychological safety can compound the effects of secondary trauma and compassion fatigue, common among helping professionals who continuously absorb the emotional distress of others. This can lead to burnout, decreased empathy, and an overall decline in mental health, impacting both the quality of care and the workers’ personal lives.

Research by the American Psychological Association highlights that when individuals feel psychologically safe, they are better equipped to manage stress and exhibit resilience in the face of adversity. Psychological safety thus serves as a protective factor against the damaging effects of stress and trauma, fostering a work environment that promotes healing rather than compounding trauma.

The second step is building the foundation for workplace psychological safety. 

It all starts with you as a leader. Whether you are a leader in the classroom, your department, a family daycare, or a large staff, we are all leaders! We all need leadership skills and to build them into our daily lives. Leaders who model vulnerability, openness, and empathy set a tone of acceptance and support, inspiring and motivating others to do the same.

Here are three actionable steps that you can take as a leader to start fostering a trauma-informed and psychologically safe environment:

  1. Be Empathetic: Practice active listening, validate others’ emotions, and prioritize empathy. Leaders can initiate regular check-ins with staff and co-workers to discuss any stressors or experiences of trauma-related work. Dr. Brené Brown, a researcher on vulnerability, emphasizes that empathetic leadership builds trust, a crucial element of psychological safety.
  1. Trauma and Toxic Stress Exposure is Common: Recognize and acknowledge that trauma and stress are part of the work in helping professions. Leaders can openly discuss situations without stigma. For instance, during team meetings, leaders can share their own experiences of stress and how they manage it, or they can invite team members to share their experiences. When you bring the topic of stress and trauma out into the open, you are encouraging others to seek support.
  1. Open Communication is Key: In a psychologically safe space, there is time for open conversations, conversations that allow you to explore your feelings and needs without judgment and helps others in doing the same. This open communication encourages and supports everyone in the workplace, making them feel heard and valued. 

What does it look like to be a leader that practices psychological safety?

Jordan is a child welfare team director in a busy urban area. Her team, composed of social workers, case managers, and support staff, deals with high-stress cases involving trauma, abuse, and neglect. Due to the emotional demands of the work, Jordan knows that her team members frequently experience secondary traumatic stress and compassion fatigue. She believes that fostering psychological safety is crucial for her team to stay resilient, collaborative, and effective in their work.

Jordan regularly meets with each team member individually to check in on their well-being and workload. During these one-on-ones, she practices active listening. Jordan acknowledges their challenges and avoids giving “quick fixes” to their problems, focusing instead on understanding their needs. She also encourages open communication within the team and invites everyone to share their thoughts on improving workflows, regularly reinforcing that every voice matters.

In team meetings, Jordan is open about her own challenges and mistakes. For instance, she once shared how she felt emotionally exhausted after a particularly tough case but found solace in a mindfulness practice. By showing her vulnerability, Jordan creates an environment where her team feels comfortable expressing their own emotional struggles. 

When a team member admitted feeling overwhelmed and doubting their ability to continue in the field, Jordan responded empathetically. She acknowledged the difficulty of the work and reassured them that these feelings were normal. She reminded them of their impact and offered support in finding a manageable balance.

These are just a few examples of how Jordan supported her staff as a leader who recognized the importance of psychological safety and a trauma-informed approach. This approach transformed her workplace culture. Staff reported feeling more supported and valued and less fearful of making mistakes. They shared helpful coping techniques and formed resilience support groups. Morale improved, and turnover rates in the department dropped significantly. Jordan’s leadership fostered an environment where psychological safety and trauma-informed practices strengthened her team’s well-being and the quality of care they provided.

Psychological safety in the workplace is essential for helping professionals who face unique stressors and trauma exposure. By fostering empathy, open communication and encouraging discussions to remove stigma, organizations can create environments where employees feel safe, supported, and empowered to perform at their best. These strategies enhance the workforce’s well-being and improve the quality of care for clients, creating a ripple effect that extends beyond the workplace.

Understanding N.E.A.R. Science: How Trauma and Toxic Stress Affects You and Your Team

The county fair is a big highlight of the summer each year. When my children were young, we would attend the fair every day. Being involved in 4-H, sports, and community activities led to much work at the various food stands and booths.

At the county fair, there were a variety of carnival rides. My children looked forward to going on all the different carnival rides, “The Bullet,” “Tilt-a-Whirl,” and “Rocket” were some that I can remember. I would walk through the crowded pathways with my children in tow, the loud music of the carnival rides blasting throughout the area. I stood back and watched which rides each of them chose. My son loved the fast rides that made his stomach go up and down. My other son would favor bumper cars and Ferris wheels. As I stood by “Rocket,” waiting for my son, I would watch other children come off, saying,” Never again” or “Let’s do it again!”

Trauma and its effects on the brain are similar to the response to a carnival ride. We all have traumatic or high-stress experiences in life. Some people come through trauma and stressful times with a response of resilience and growth. Others experience a challenging event and are stuck in the struggle, unable to move beyond it. It can be the same traumatic or high-stress event; however, they have very different reactions.

The human brain, with its complexity, is a fascinating subject to learn about. Understanding how we react to events, our world, and others is a journey of discovery. Past trauma and toxic stress can change how each of us responds to those experiences on our journey of discovery.

Researcher Gabor Mate’ explains that trauma is not the event; it’s what happens inside our body as a result of the event.

As an organization strives to become Trauma-Informed and Resilient, understanding toxic stress and trauma’s effects is a crucial first step. In my previous blog post, I introduced N.E.A.R. Science as a key support for creating a Trauma-Informed, Resilient Workplace. A deep understanding of the N.E.A.R. Science model, Neurobiology, Epigenetics, Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs), and Resilience provides a practical understanding of how trauma and toxic stress can impact you and your staff. 

Let’s break down the N.E.A.R. Science model to see how to use this information in the workplace.

Neurobiology studies the brain and how stress can affect its structure. The brain is critical to understanding humans’ responses to stress and how that works in our bodies. Returning to the carnival ride, some people respond to stressors in life and can handle the stress with the support in place. They know that the world is overall safe. They have the protective factors to be resilient and can “do it again”! Other people will react to the stressors by seeing the world as scary and lonely; they don’t have the protective factors and agency to be resilient and falter in moving forward. They  “never want to do that again!” Each reaction is the person’s experience, and both are valid.

Epigenetics studies how the environment and behaviors can affect how our genetic code is expressed. It helps us better understand people’s varied responses to traumatic and stressful events based on intergenerational trauma. There is ongoing research into epigenetics, and the Harvard Center on the Developing Child is an excellent resource with an infographic that explains epigenetics and how it relates to child development. Reasons for a person’s or a group’s responses to the carnival ride (or other events) may lie in a person’s epigenetics. 

ACEs (Adverse Childhood Experiences) are children’s experiences from birth to age 18. These types of experiences can have long-term negative health implications for adults. The research study included ten specific traumatic events studied in the 1990s through Kaiser Permanente. The results showed that ACEs are common in the population; over 64% of adults said they had experienced at least one event, and nearly 1 in 6 reported four or more. There was a strong correlation between the number of ACEs and adverse health outcomes in the group with four or more ACEs. The Centers for Disease Control (CDC) has more information about ACEs and their implications on our population. These experiences cause toxic stress in a child, which can cause long-term negative impacts. In the example of the carnival ride, the child comes off the ride and is made fun of for their response to the experience, or there is no one there to comfort them. If this happens repeatedly, the stress builds up and can affect the stress response system in the body.

Resilience, the ability to bounce back from adversity, is nurtured through the protective factors established within our community or individually. Research has shown that these protective factors and Positive Childhood Experiences (PCEs) can mitigate the effects of ACEs. The support of friends and family, community members, and schools can have a positive long-term impact on the health of adults. In the example of the carnival ride, a child steps off and is scared, but another person is there who can comfort them. The child can feel safe about the experience, and the other person cheers them on to try more. This is an example of the protective factor of another person to mitigate the stress of the experience.

We often feel like we are on a carnival ride in our work and life. You or your staff members may react like one of my children to a stressful situation. When we have unresolved issues from childhood, those stressful experiences can bring on reactions that you or staff members may not fully understand the origin. The N.E.A.R. Science model helps your team to move from wondering, “What is wrong with that person?” to “What has happened to that person?” This shift can bring empathy and compassion to our interactions with team members.

The N.E.A.R. Science model provides a comprehensive view of the impact of trauma and ways to build resilience through individual practices and system-wide changes. When we grasp the principles of N.E.A.R. Science, we gain a deeper understanding of the individual and how they navigate life experiences. This understanding allows us to implement practices to help staff better understand and address their needs, leading to a more supportive and effective work environment.

Being Trauma-Informed in Your Organization

A few weeks ago, I wrote a post about being your best and that your best will change from moment to moment, day to day, and year to year. As humans, we each have our unique personalities and characteristics. We don’t need to fix ourselves; we need to learn and practice skills that allow us to be who we are.

Over the past year, we’ve witnessed a significant departure of staff from the helping professions. In a recent meeting with social service agencies, a leader reported a staggering 60% vacancy rate. Even in schools, we’ve seen teachers leaving their positions mid-year due to stress and burnout. This is a pressing issue that demands our immediate attention. 

Practicing well-being skills can be the individual’s responsibility and supported by organizational values and goals. An organization that understands the effects of trauma and stress on people and promotes well-being and self-care activities for the staff yet makes unrealistic demands and expectations for productivity are not walking the talk. Traumatic events and toxic stress are the contributors to burnout. According to research on trauma, 90% of adults experience a traumatic event at least once in their lives. Trauma can be any perceived harm with adverse effects on one’s functioning or well-being (SAMSHA).

What is a Trauma-Informed Organization?

According to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), a trauma-informed organization strives to meet four criteria:

  1. Realize the widespread impact of trauma
  2. Recognize the signs and symptoms of trauma
  3. Responds by fully integrating knowledge about trauma into practice and 
  4. Actively resists retraumatization.

Implementing the 4R framework can be a transformative, multi-year journey for any organization or school. This approach, which includes strategic planning, training, coaching, and collaboration among leadership and staff, has the potential to significantly improve the well-being and resilience of your workplace. 

What can organizations do to support a Trauma-Informed, Resilient workplace?

  1. Understand how trauma and toxic stress can affect yourself and your staff. Everyone in leadership must deeply understand the N.E.A.R. Science model, Neurobiology, Epigenetics, Adverse Childhood Expereinces (ACEs), and Resilience to put in place the protective factors needed for staff.
  1. Review the policies in place and identify changes that need to be made that align with the 4R’s framework. 
  1. Create safety: physical and emotional safety is one of the key principles of a trauma-informed, resilient workplace. Establish safety by promoting a “culture of wellness” that moves an organization from burnout to resilience. This culture of wellness can be fostered through regular check-ins, open communication, and providing resources for self-care.
  1. Skills development to build staff resources and resilience. These can include emotional intelligence training, communication workshops, and wellness practices. These skills allow us to understand and gain insight into others and ourselves.

These four points are a starting point to help leaders set the tone for the organization’s culture and develop a path to supporting everyone within it.

Change takes time; however, interventions from the organizational level have the highest impact and require thoughtful planning. This is a real paradigm shift. It is changing the way organizations or schools support families, children, and youth to prevent the exit of highly qualified professionals affected by burnout.

Leadership commitment is crucial on the path to a trauma-informed, resilient organization or school. This commitment not only fosters a supportive workplace for staff but also paves the way for the growth and well-being of the clients we serve. It’s a mission-driven responsibility that we, as leaders in the helping profession, must uphold. 

If you are looking for a place to start on the path to a Trauma-Informed, Resilient organization or school, please reach out to see how we can collaborate on the journey.

Two Top Trauma-Informed Resiliency Podcasts for Leaders

This past week, I drove a lot of miles in my car alone. Sometimes, I like to listen to music while driving, but most of the time, I love podcasts! As an experienced educator and advocate for trauma-informed care, I have found podcasts to be a valuable resource in my professional development. 

If you are a busy leader of an organization or school, podcasts can offer valuable insight into the problems and issues that many leaders experience. Here are just two of my favorite podcasts that can provide you with practical support and knowledge while you are on your daily commute, making your time more productive and efficient.

(Re)Education of Schools Podcast

Description: Educators Justin Moorman and Katie Thornton have open, honest conversations about how to understand better social-emotional learning, trauma-informed care, the “why’s” behind student behavior, and how to help kids navigate it all as they go through school and life. 

Why listen: The episodes are around 30 minutes long, just enough time to provide some practical tools and understanding of a trauma-informed approach, practice, or issue.

Notable Episode: I have just recently started listening to episodes, and I have found them all valuable so far. “Leading a Trauma-Informed School with James Moffett” was very informative and gave some great insights into how being trauma-informed is not always a way of doing things; it’s also a way of being. This a good podcast not just for educators and school leaders; anyone who works with children or has children in their life can gain valuable insight.

Daring to Lead and Unlocking Us

Descriptions: Both podcasts are hosted by researcher Brene Brown. However, Unlocking Us features conversations with other notable researchers about unlocking the deeply human part of who we are so that we can live, love, parent, and lead with a whole heart. Dare to Lead features conversations with change catalysts, culture shifters, and troublemakers innovating, creating, and daring to lead. 

Why listen: Yes, I know this is two podcasts, yet there is a lot of overlap. Some interviews are cross-over interviews and run on both podcasts. Brene’ Brown asks insightful, deep questions of her guests. Both podcasts are helpful for leaders and educators since we are all working with and leading other humans. At the non-profit where I used to work, we had a monthly get-together over Zoom called “Beverages with Brene.” It was an evening where we would all listen to the same episode and discuss our thoughts and insights gleaned from the interview. 

Notable Episode: Brene took a hiatus from podcasting in 2023, and I was delighted to see her back with episodes this past February. She is now doing a limited series on topics. Her first topic was the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, and then she did a series on AI.  As a leader, I would turn to some of her past podcast interviews, Lisa Lahey on Immunity to Change on Dare to Lead. On Unlocking Us, Father Richard Rohr on Spirituality, Certitude and Infinite Love. Both interviews are two parts and might take more than one commute to listen.

There are so many more podcasts I love to listen to and enjoy, be it for learning or laughing. The two I shared with you provide a wealth of information and inspiration for leaders and educators. 
I have been a guest on several parenting, teaching, and leadership podcasts, discussing trauma-informed practices and resilience. My website has links to all my podcast appearances at https://wildewoodlearning.com/podcast-appearances/. Give one or two of them a listen!

Strength Spotting in Young Children

Last week, I presented a breakout session at a large conference. One of the questions I asked the audience was, “What are the challenging behaviors you see in children?” I have asked adults working with children and youth from toddlers to high school. Here are some of the common answers:

  • Aggressive behaviors (hitting, biting, name-calling)
  • Lack of focus and motivation
  • Anxiety and depression
  • Self-harming

All these behaviors and many others leave adults feeling frustrated, upset, angry, and confused about the child. The struggling child often disrupts the environment and creates an uncomfortable situation for other children.

What can an adult do when confronted with challenging behaviors? The solution starts with our nervous systems. We need to rewire our brains to approach the situation calmly and connect with the child or youth. The brain can change; it’s not static, even when we are adults. 

I find the brain fascinating in our human body; maybe that’s the former middle school science teacher within me. When I discovered I could train my brain, I recognized that I was helping the children I interacted with to rewire their brains. Small positive changes started in their behavior. However, I needed support and practice to make this shift. 

As a parent, educator, and caregiver, I understand the challenges and struggles of working with children. I’ve been there, feeling stressed, hopeless, and alone in my struggles with my children’s behaviors. I was an adoptive parent with four adopted children under 7. As a classroom teacher, I have worked with children and teens for over 15 years. How hard could it be to parent children? You can read that story here! Let me say it was way more difficult than I thought to parent children who have experienced trauma at a young age.

I slowly found the information, support, and practices that helped me to make small shifts in how I interacted with my children and others. These shifts took practice; however, slowly, I saw the results in both myself and my children.

By intentionally focusing on the good within my children, I noticed a remarkable shift. Over time, I realized the secret to addressing challenging behaviors. When my behavior changed, their behavior changed! This shift in perspective led to positive changes in their behavior and our relationship, showing that positive change is not only possible but achievable.

As parents, educators, and caregivers of children, we tend to want to improve their behavior by focusing on what they can’t do instead of what comes naturally to them. 

It’s natural to focus on the negatives, especially when we’re stressed. However, we can retrain our brains to see the positives and understand that behavior is a form of communication. When we do that, we can spot the strengths in children. It’s a powerful shift in perspective that can make a world of difference. 

Over the past four years, I have worked with my colleague Monica Cochran, founder of Learning without Borders, to develop a course for educators, daycare providers, afterschool program directors, and parents on seeking the good in children. This course helps you understand challenging behaviors and switch your perspectives to strengths-based approaches.

If you would like to bring the Strength-Based Resilience Course to your staff to build practices that support children and adults, contact Kathy.

Six Tools to Hone Your Superpower Listening

Did you know that listening, when done effectively, can be a superpower? It is! Just like a superhero uses their powers for good, you can harness the power of listening to transform your personal and professional relationships. 

This is especially true in the modern world, where there is so much distraction. Phones are dinging with notifications, everyone is talking all at once, and our heads are down, rushing off to the next appointment. There is no time just to stop and listen. Listen to yourself, listen to others, or listen to the earth.

Over the past month, I have listened. What I have learned is that:

  • Listening takes work. 
  • Listening can be uncomfortable. 
  • Listening will shift a relationship. 

Through my practice of listening, I have learned a lot about myself and my family members. Things that I thought I knew, I was wrong. Feelings that I had while a family member talked were genuinely uncomfortable. I wanted to defend, tell my side of the story, and shut down. Yet I tried my best to be present, sit through the discomfort, and check in with my thoughts and feelings. This process of active listening has not only improved my relationships but also empowered me with a deeper understanding of myself and others.

What has been the outcome of my practice? The family member felt they were heard and what they had to say mattered. It has shifted our relationship to a better place, and we feel more trust in one another.

Think about something that you accomplished where you felt proud. Now, remember the process of getting to that accomplishment. Was it easy? Probably not. Was it fast? Usually not. Was it worth it? Yes!

Listening is the same: not easy, not fast, and totally worth it. It’s a journey that requires determination and commitment, but the rewards of improved relationships and personal growth make it a journey worth taking.

Tools to Practice Your Listening Superpower

  1. Be Present: Sit for one minute and do nothing. Come on, you have one minute to spare. Keep practicing this daily. See if you can stretch it to 2 minutes. Being present is essential to listening with your heart.
  2. WAIT, an acronym for ‘Why Am I Talking? ‘, is a powerful tool to enhance your listening skills. It encourages you to pause before speaking, allowing you to choose your words with care and examine your intent. 
  3. Pause: Stop and sit in the discomfort of silence. Sit with your uncomfortable feelings and thoughts.
  4. Reflect: If you need to say something, reflect to the speaker what you heard them say. Start with the phrase, “What I heard you say is ….” Then say what you heard.
  5. Go deeper: Ask the speaker to tell you more about their perception. Let them tell you what they need to say.
  6. Regulate: After listening to something difficult, you might need a break to process. Go for a walk, write in a journal, listen to music, or do an activity that can help you feel calm. Once you are calm, you can ask if the person is willing to listen to your side of the story. 

Each of these tools requires practice. I suggest focusing on one at a time when practicing listening. You can practice listening at any time. Maybe a co-worker is telling you about a fun vacation. You stop, listen, and practice reflecting back to them or asking them to tell you more about the experience. 

Listening is just one of the Superpower tools I teach in my workshops to support you and your colleagues in building organizational resiliency. Find out more about upcoming Wildewood Learning events where you can learn more about honing your Listening Superpowers: https://wildewoodlearning.com/events/

Growing the Strength of Children and Youth!

Three weeks ago, I attended a conference sponsored by the Alternative Education Resource Organization (AERO) in Minneapolis, MN. I was both a presenter and a participant at the conference.

When I give a breakout session, I want to ensure that the participants walk away with at least one skill, tool, or strategy they can use with children or youth. Today, I am sharing an activity from my conference session with you.

So often, the systems surrounding us try to fit everyone into a one-size-fits-all model. This deficit-based model looks at people and identifies what they need to improve or be “fixed” within themselves. It leaves children thinking they are not enough, don’t fit in, or can’t be themselves. Children can carry limiting beliefs, like these, into adulthood.

Imagine if children and youth were actually supported in identifying their strengths, exploring their talents, and developing their skills over the years. As the adults surrounding children and youth, we play a crucial and integral role in this process. It’s our responsibility to guide them in this journey. Adults first need to see their strengths. Once adults have explored their strengths, they can better support children and youth in their journey of exploration. Adult mentors who can identify strengths feel valued and integral to the development of the children and youth in their classrooms and programs. They are building positive relationships!

As facilitators, you have the power to acknowledge your strengths and support children and youth in recognizing their own. Here is an activity that you can use to help you recognize your strengths and then support children and youth in recognizing their strengths.

  1. Find a partner with whom you want to learn more about.
  2. You will tell a story in which you felt proud, accomplished, or good about what you did or what happened. Your partner will practice active listening—listening for strength qualities and asking questions. Let your partner know when you both have a story in mind and then you can start.
  3. In your group, select Person A and Person B. Person A; you will have two minutes to tell your story. Person B, you will be listening for strength qualities through what the person did in the story.
  4. Have one person set the timer on his phone for 2 minutes, and Person A can start telling the story.
  5. Person B, tell person A what strengths you heard them say. For ideas of the strengths that showed up in the story, refer to the VIA character strengths word cloud.
  6. Reverse roles and Person B tells a story while Person A practices listening to the story.
  7. Then, take a few minutes to reflect on your story and strengths.

This is a very powerful activity when used in a Circle with youth or adults. It can help create a sense of belonging and acceptance within the group, making everyone feel included and seen as part of a supportive community. This activity has the potential to transform the dynamics of your group, fostering a sense of unity and support. 

You can also use this activity with younger children by having them tell a story of when they were proud or accomplished a challenging task. Then, reflect to them the strengths that you heard in the story.

This is just one of the many tools, strategies and activities that I share with school leaders, educators and youth program directors in my workshop, “Growing the Strengths of Youth: Cultivating Trauma-Informed Resiliency Practices.” Find out more about my live online workshops HERE. I would love to share with you more ways to grow the strength of children and youth in your school or program.