Doing Your Best: The Leadership Practice That Changes Everything

Why caring leadership matters in organizations serving children, youth, and families

One of my favorite quotes from The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz is:

“Your best is going to change from moment to moment. It will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.”

I often think about this idea when I’m working with leaders in organizations that serve families and youth.

What does it really mean to do your best as a leader?

In high-stress environments like schools, social service agencies, childcare organizations, and youth programs, the pressure to do more is constant. Leaders are responsible for staff, programs, outcomes, and the well-being of the people they serve. When challenges arise, and they always do, it can feel like the only solution is to push harder.

But doing your best isn’t about doing more. Doing your best begins with awareness.

The Agreement That Holds Everything Together

In The Four Agreements, Ruiz offers four guiding principles:

  • Be impeccable with your word
  • Don’t take anything personally
  • Don’t make assumptions
  • Always do your best

The fourth agreement, Always Do Your Best, holds the others together.

It reminds us that our capacity varies throughout the day and across different seasons of life. Our best when rested and supported will differ from our best when overwhelmed or depleted. For leaders, recognizing this truth is powerful. It encourages us to replace judgment with curiosity and compassion.

Instead of asking:

“Why aren’t people doing more?”

Caring leaders begin asking:

“What is happening for my staff right now, and how can I support them?”

Leadership Sets the Emotional Tone

Organizations that serve children, youth, and families operate in emotionally demanding environments. Staff regularly face trauma, crises, and complex human needs. When the adults in these systems become overwhelmed or burned out, it becomes much harder to respond with patience, empathy, and creativity.

Stress is contagious in organizations. But so is regulation.

Leaders play an essential role in shaping the emotional atmosphere of their workplace. To do this effectively, they need practical methods to evaluate staff well-being and emotional states. When leaders demonstrate awareness, pause before reacting, and approach challenges with curiosity rather than blame, they foster conditions in which staff can stay grounded during tough moments.

This is what caring leadership looks like in practice.

It’s not about having all the answers.
It’s about creating a culture where people feel supported enough to keep showing up for the important work they do.

Burnout Is a Signal, Not a Personal Failure

Burnout in helping professions remains a serious issue. Educators, social workers, childcare providers, and youth-serving professionals consistently report high stress levels and emotional exhaustion. While resilience skills are important for individuals, burnout often signals problems within the system they work in. 

Caring leaders recognize that supporting staff wellbeing isn’t a luxury; it’s vital. By creating environments that foster reflection, collaboration, and emotional awareness, they help staff stay connected to the purpose behind their work. When staff feel supported, they can better support others.

What Caring Leaders Do Differently

Caring leadership often shows up in small, everyday actions.

Caring leaders:

• Pause before reacting during stressful moments
• Listen with curiosity instead of jumping to solutions
• Recognize strengths in their staff and encourage collaboration
• Acknowledge the emotional weight of the work
• Reinforce hope and possibility when challenges arise

These practices help staff shift from feeling overwhelmed to feeling capable and connected.

When people feel seen and supported, their ability to do their best expands.

Training That Made a Difference

One social service agency director I worked with wanted to strengthen collaboration and support among her staff. The work they were doing was meaningful, but the emotional demands were high, and stress was beginning to affect morale.

Together, we created training that helped staff:

  • recognize their individual strengths
  • better understand trauma-informed practices
  • develop small strategies for staying grounded during challenging interactions

Over time, staff began communicating more openly across departments and supporting one another in new ways. They reported feeling more connected to their work and more hopeful about their impact.

Most importantly, this shift allowed them to serve families in their community with greater patience, compassion, and consistency.

Doing Your Best as a Leader

For leaders in organizations serving children and families, doing your best doesn’t mean pushing harder or expecting more from already stretched staff. Doing your best means paying attention. It involves recognizing when stress is building and choosing to respond with awareness instead of urgency. It means creating workplaces where people feel safe enough to ask for help, reflect, and learn together.

When leaders practice awareness, compassion, and emotional agility, they foster conditions in which everyone in the organization can do their best, even on the toughest days. And when the adults in a system are supported and regulated, the children and families they serve see the greatest benefits.

A Question for Leaders

If you lead a team serving children, youth, or families, consider this:

What helps the people in your organization do their best?

Not just when things are going well, but when the work is hard, emotions are high, and stress is present.

Caring leadership begins with that question.

At Wildewood Learning, I work with organizations that serve children, youth, and families to help leaders build cultures of care, resilience, and belonging.

Through training and consulting, I help leaders:

• strengthen trauma-informed leadership practices
• support staff wellbeing and regulation
• build strength-based collaboration across teams
• create environments where both staff and the people they serve can thrive

If your organization is ready to strengthen caring leadership and reduce burnout, I’d love to connect.

Strong Ground [Review]

“Let’s try a little experiment,” I said to myself this past December.

I have been dabbling with experiments in my life, a short-term thing I want to try. I did a little experiment with not watching or reading the news for two weeks. Honestly, I felt so calm and not like the world was on fire all the time that I continue to limit my news intake. 

Then I did a little social media experiment: I wasn’t on Facebook for a month. Again, it was a great feeling to be free of the burden of social media, so I took the apps off my phone. Now I only use Facebook and Instagram on my computer for a short time, every few days.

My latest experiment was to have a book club. Starting a book club was very self-serving. I wanted to read Brené Brown’s new book, Strong Ground, and I knew I wouldn’t get through it without accountability. I started a book club as a little experiment. It has worked for me. We had our book club discussion about Strong Ground, and I had 8 other women leaders read it with me. There was a chat group where I posted a question or two each week, and others, along with myself, posted their a-ha moments from the reading. 

In this post, I am sharing a few of my insights from reading Strong Ground.

The Dare to Lead Podcast

Brené Brown is one of my favorite leadership thought leaders and researchers. I have read several of her books and use her materials in my trainings. I also listen to her podcasts Unlocking Us and Dare to Lead. Brown was a consistent podcaster and started the Dare to Lead podcast in October, 2020. Then, at the end of 2022, she took a 16-month break, had a few interviews in the spring of 2024, and then nothing until last fall. 

“YES!” I shouted as a Dare to Lead podcast episode dropped last fall. It was a 9-episode series about her new book, “Strong Ground: The Lessons of Daring Leadership, the Tenacity of Paradox and the Wisdom of the Human Spirit,” which offers valuable leadership lessons. Six episodes featured Adam Grant, an organizational psychologist, and the engaging conversations between Brown and Grant provided practical insights into leadership challenges. Listening to these episodes can give you a taste of the book’s leadership concepts and inspire your own growth. 

Short Review of Strong Ground

Strong Ground is an almost 400-page read that packs in so much on leadership, both self-leadership and organizational leadership. In addition to Brown’s writings, she has guest writers discuss leadership concepts she has integrated into the Dare to Lead framework. I will need to go back through all the highlights in the book to really let it all sink in. However, I would like to discuss three sections I found key topics and tools in the book for me.

  1. The Above the Line/ Below the Line Practice
  2. Grounded Confidence
  3. Locking In and Locking Through

The Above the Line/ Below the Line Practice

Above-the-line and below-the-line practices are not new to me. I learned about the practice twenty years ago during a restorative practices training. The Above the Line/ Below the Line mindset was like digging deep into a dusty box of trinkets that I hadn’t thought about for a while and pulling out a treasure, saying, “Oh! This one I need right now!” 

At its essence, it’s a practice where leaders build self-awareness of their mindset. Are you making decisions and responses from a below-the-line mindset that is all about fear, power over, and being “right”? Or are you making those decisions from above the line in the mindset of curiosity, power with, and open to possibilities? This video from the Conscious Leadership group explains the concept well. It’s all about pausing and recognizing where you are, above or below the line. 

Grounded Confidence

Brown’s definition of a leader is anyone, regardless of title or position, who holds themselves accountable for finding potential in people and ideas, and who has the courage to develop that potential. This inclusive view aims to inspire you to see your own leadership qualities and feel empowered to develop them further.

This section incorporates the skills from Dare to Lead (2018), her additional research from Atlas of the Heart (2021), and the many organizations her company has served. Grounded Confidence accounts for almost a third of the book’s content and is the heart of her research with organizations. Brown defines Grounded Confidence as “is a brand of confidence that is …built on solid ground of self-awareness, courage, and practice. Grounded confidence is the accepting and embracing learning and unlearning, practicing and failing, and at its core is driven by discipline and the joy of mastery.” 

Locking In and Locking Through

There are many skill-sets and mindsets needed for grounded confidence; however, one that stood out to me was the concept of Locking In and Locking Through. She especially writes about locking in and deep focus. In this section, it resonated with me because, to finish the book, I needed deep focus; however, the technology was pulling me away from the focus I needed to reach my goal. I set my phone’s timer and then set it across the room. I told myself I couldn’t touch the phone until the timer went off. It took me half the time to settle myself, and then I sat and read. 

As I read this chapter, what I learned is that your attention is like a flashlight: whenever you point it, it becomes brighter. I only have one flashlight, and on days when I try to shine the light on too many tasks in a short time span, task switching, I will start to lose integrity in any of those tasks. I will become slower, more prone to error, and worn out. As a woman of a certain age, I feel emotionally worn out more than ever on days when I ask too much of my brain by switching tasks. I plan to spend more time blocking out projects where I can have deep, intentional focus without the interruptions of other tasks. 

Brown uses personal narrative, sports metaphors, examples within an organization,  guest writers, poetry, and research to weave together the concepts she shares in the book. In the online discussion among the book club members, some of us felt it led to a disjointed reading experience and a lack of a clear path for where she was going in the book. The disjointed information was mostly at the start of the book. We also had a great discussion about the audio version vs the book. In the audiobook, Brown will go off-script at times and add some additional information. Overall, as leaders in our respective communities, we all felt that there was some value in reading the book. 

I suggest listening to the Dare to Lead podcasts before reading the book to get a feel for the content before diving in. I am happy with the book club experiment and may hold another one later in the year. I will be incorporating the Strong Ground mindsets and tools into my personal work as a leader and in my work with organizations to support them in developing a culture that brings out the best within themselves. If you would like to chat about how I can support your organization in developing a “strong ground” culture, reach out to chat!

How a County Social Service Agency Strengthened the Skills of Its Staff to Increase Resilience

This is the second case study I will share, illustrating Wildewood Learning’s partnerships with schools and organizations that serve families and children, with a focus on trauma-informed, strength-based interventions. The first case study was with a school district in northwestern Minnesota. You can read about it here. 

The social services agency, located in a small county in northwestern Minnesota, took a proactive approach to staff development. The staff, comprising approximately 20 people, provided and implemented social service programs for the 4,000 residents in the county. Wildewood Learning provided training to the staff over the course of 9 months through three targeted training sessions.

Challenge

The staff members were often disconnected in their work relationships. It was the fall of 2022, and some staff members had not yet returned to the office, while others were on a rotating schedule. There was a strong need to bring everyone together in the agency. Additionally, staff struggled to understand client needs and behaviors. However, through the training, they gained a more compassionate lens in understanding the effects of trauma, leading to a significant shift in their approach.

Solution

In a collaborative effort between Rural Minnesota CEP (Concentrated Employment Program) and the local social services agency, they hired Wildewood Learning (Kathryn Magnusson) to facilitate a Strengths in Action training using the Clifton StrengthsFinder Assessment with CEP and County staff. The training session enabled the staff to come together and create a shared experience, learning about one another’s strengths. 

The positive results led to two additional trainings: one on Trauma-Sensitive Communities, so that all staff, from reception personnel to the director, had a basic understanding of trauma, its effects, and how to create resilience. 

The third training was on the topic of Increasing Optimism. The goal of this training session was to create a positive atmosphere within the workplace, which would, in turn, enhance relationships with colleagues and clients. 

Results

After the three sessions, I sat down with the director to ask how the training had affected the staff.

  • Increased staff positivity and energy: The director noted that the training provided a much-needed “shot of positivity,” helping staff shift their mindset at work. The agency’s commitment to fostering a positive workplace culture was evident in the staff’s increased energy and improved outlook, which were seen as meaningful wins in maintaining a healthier workplace culture.
  • Improved team cohesion: She emphasized the importance of bringing her staff together. By participating in activities as a group, staff had the opportunity to collaborate, connect across departments, and “rub elbows with each other.” The sessions strengthened relationships and reduced feelings of isolation between teams.
  • Shared learning experience: Rather than sending one or two staff to outside trainings, the agency found greater benefit in having all staff learn together. The director observed that when “we’re all in the same room, listening to the same person,” the training messages carried further and were more consistent across the organization.
  • Support for leadership development: The director also highlighted her own growth, noting that bringing training in-house aligned with her annual leadership goals. Hosting ongoing staff development was seen not only as beneficial for the team but also as part of building her capacity as an agency leader.

“These trainings have given my staff the positivity and energy they need to face tough work. When we’re all in the same room, learning together, it builds stronger connections and helps us support each other. Bringing this training in-house has been one of the best ways to invest in my team’s well-being and growth.” 

Amy Ballard, Director, Lake of the Woods Social Services

The work done in collaboration with Wildewood Learning supports the social service director in her goals of creating a positive workplace atmosphere, acknowledging the strengths of the staff, and also creating empathy for clients and colleagues. 

Wildewood Learning offers customized professional development, consulting, and tools to support workplaces in becoming trauma-informed and strength-based places where people thrive. Let’s connect to discuss how we can support your staff, strengthen relationships, and help you achieve your leadership goals for your organization. Connect with Wildewood Learning today!

Opportunities Are All Around Us

It’s just a few days away from September. September has always been a month of transition for me. As a parent and former classroom teacher, when September rolls around, it signifies new beginnings:

  • New school year
  • New season (fall is one of my favorites) and
  • New opportunities.

The last month has been filled with new opportunities for me, some of which I was looking forward to experiencing, and others were totally unexpected. Navigating expected and unexpected opportunities is all about reframing the experience, and often, the most unexpected ones hold the greatest potential for growth. 

Yesterday, I was planning to write this newsletter, but then I needed to take a sick family member to the clinic. My day went in a totally different direction, so much so that I didn’t even open my computer. 

Often, when faced with unexpected events and unable to accomplish my “to-do” list, my thoughts would spin out of control. I would feel anxious, frustrated, and irritated with the situations, which the other person would feel. 

However, what truly helped me stay calm when I didn’t accomplish everything I had planned yesterday was a reminder to be gentle with myself and remember that it’s okay to have days when things don’t go as expected. I stopped, I breathed, and I asked myself, “What is the opportunity here?”

This is the opportunity to:

  • Helps a sick family member
  • Stop and breathe
  • Consider my priorities
  • Lean into what I value
  • Create connection, care, and love

I did this reframe throughout the day, keeping my mind in the present and letting the person I was with know that I cared. This act of being present and caring is not only a personal value but also a professional one that can greatly impact those around us. 

As leaders in your school or organization and role models for families, children, and youth, your role is crucial. You always have an ongoing “to-do” list that can sometimes get in the way of opportunities for connection, caring, and being present. 

Every day brings a new set of expected and unexpected opportunities. I hope you take the time to stop, breathe, and ask yourself, “What is the opportunity here?”

Wishing you the ability to see all the opportunities that lie ahead in the new month!

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