Do You Know Your Strengths?

Happy Valentine’s Day 2021!! 

Now that my children are older, Valentine’s Day is not as celebrated in years past. No heart pancakes tinged in pink, no candy hearts, and small boxes of chocolates. Instead, I share a quiet “I love you” and a text with the same sentiments are with them.

I try to tell or show the people in my life that I love them daily. Isn’t that more important than showering love on just one day a year?

One way that I use my strengths is to create a positive connection with each person I encounter in my day. Creating a positive connection is so important when most of my relationships are virtual. 

I have the strength of Connectedness; being connected to something larger than myself is essential. I treat each encounter with the idea that we are meeting for a reason. There is a larger reason as to why this person is in my life.

Today’s video is about why strengths are vital for us to know and that a deep dive conversation is a great way to get to know your strengths at a deeper level. Studies show that the more connected you are with your strengths, there is an increase in positive well-being, improved work engagement, and better relationships.

 

Simple Acts of Compassion Create Connection

Love your neighbor as yourself. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Many of the wisdom traditions use a version of the Golden Rule. This rule or guideline stresses compassion. 

 

I think back to when I was a child growing up in the ’70s and ’80s and the problems I felt were in my life. The issues of friendships, where to go to eat on a Saturday night (Pizza Hut, of course), and what to do when I felt there was nothing to do. I usually didn’t know about a party until after the fact. If my friends decided to go to the movies and I wasn’t home to pick up the phone, my friends left me to find my own entertainment. 

 

It’s different today for the younger generation. Teens today have instant notifications, instant invitations, or instant connections, all through the little device in their hands. Yet is it really what they want or need? There are reports of young people feeling disconnected and lonely among the ability to connect instantly. 

 

Even though my teen years are so much different from my children’s, I can still have compassion for this generation’s young people because of an essential shared human experience. The needs of belonging, connection, and to matter are a few of the needs I can relate to, even though I am an “old” person. 

 

I have worked in the area of social and emotional learning for over 16 years. Over those years, I have learned that building a connection with a caring, capable, and compassionate adult is essential in a young person’s life – an adult who will listen and make a serious attempt to understand. 

 

Compassion is created from three components – awareness of suffering, action to relieve suffering, and recognizing a shared human experience. I see a young person sitting on the sideline watching while others play a game. I go over the talk to the young person, strike up a conversation and find out she doesn’t know the game’s rules. Then I take the time to explain the rules and then ask her to play. That is an act of compassion.

 

The Search Institute, a research organization in Minneapolis, has a list of 40 positive supports and strengths a young person needs to succeed. One area is support: care from family, other adults, community members, and school staff. When a young person feels supported by the adults around him/her, there is a decrease in high-risk behaviors. Simple ways to connect with youth can happen in your community. YOU can play a part in the solution!

 

Here are ten ways you can increase your compassion and connect with a child or teen.

  • Take an interest in an activity a teen you know is involved in by attending the activity or asking questions of the teen. Then listen.
  • Ask a child what they are interested in doing. What are her passions? What sparks his interests? Then listen.
  • Play a game of pick-up basketball with a group of kids for fun.
  • Invite kids on the sidelines to participate in a game.
  • Give an authentic and specific compliment to a child. An example could be, “Wow, I admire how you organized the books on the shelf.”
  • Do a random act of kindness for a teen.
  • Ask, “What are your dreams?” Then listen.
  • Accept a child for who he or she is, a unique individual in this world.
  • Make sure making mistakes is “okay” for both kids and adults. 
  • Breathe deeply before saying something that could harm a child.

 

If you take action on even some of these ten simple activities, you will build compassion in yourself and the other person over time. These actions will not solve the complex problem of loneliness, violence, or inequities in our world; however, it is a start.

5 Strategies to Access the Learning Brain

This time of year can come with a variety of emotions. I am sure many emotions have popped up over the last few weeks for you in some way. As a former science teacher, the study of the brain and the connection to resilience is fascinating. When we are dealing with our emotions it’s important to know why and how our brains are reacting to that emotion.

 

In the video, The Learning Brain v.s. The Survival Brain, Dr. Jacob Ham explains how stress can affect learning for our students. We need to create safe environments in the classroom that assists children in learning. One of the ways we can do that is through using tools that you can teach to your students that will calm the brain down.

 

In my recent video, I demonstrate five tools you can use with your student to help them feel safe and access their learning brain.

Moving Through Fear and Anxiety

Happy Halloween!

I thought today would be the appropriate day to talk about fear and anxiety.

Sometimes fun and fear can go together like today! Halloween is the annual time of the year when spooky costumes and scary movies can be fun!

However, when you are truly dealing with fears and anxieties, there is nothing fun about it.

We all have fears and anxiety. It’s part of all human experience.

Big Fears and little fears. Realistic and imagined fears.

I invite you to practice the skills presented in today’s video to move through fear and anxiety.

Then pass these skills on to the children in your life.

 

Using Your Strengths To Overcome Challenges: Part 3

I love it when I receive questions from followers. Last week I had a really big question from a follower,

 

How do you help adults overcome

childhood trauma and toxic stress?

 

Wow! Big question! This is too big of a question to cover in a ten-minute video or even in a blog post. However, I can give you a few tools to start on a path that will decrease your toxic stress response and increase your self- regulation. Once your nervous system is regulated, tapping into your strengths to build up your resilience is key.

 

You can build your self-awareness toolbox as an adult and tap into those tools when stress enters your life.

 

This is a journey where each new tool you use and practice can help you along your path of resilience.

 

Watch Using Your Strengths to Overcome Challenges Part 1 and Part 2 to add more tools to your toolbox.

 

 

Strength-Based Resilience is a four-part course for educators, parents, and caregivers. A new session starts on September 9, 2020.

More information about the course can be found here.

 

 

Using Your Strengths to Overcome Challenges: Part 2

Stress, overwhelm, and anxiety are the words I use to describe my emotions during a time of crisis. What are the words that come to your mind when we talk about the current world situation?

 

Luckily for me, I can reach into my toolbox of resilience tools and pull out one of my favorite tools, strengths! My resilience tools are tools I can use to help myself and others bounce back in times of crisis.

 

In the last video, I shared about the four areas of strengths (Relating, Thinking, Executing and Influencing) and how you might see one or more of those areas in yourself. If I can see my strengths then I can also be intentional about calling upon one or more of those strengths to see my situation differently.

 

Today I share a short exercise for you to call upon your personal strengths and focus on using them throughout your day. 

 

Using Your Strengths to Overcome Challenges: Part 1

I encounter new challenges that enter my life on a daily basis, especially now. I think we have all experienced changes that come unexpectedly. 

How do you handle the challenges you encounter? What do you do to overcome obstacles?

When a challenge confronts me, I remind myself of my strengths. I reflect on how each strength can be used to help me through my day. 

This video is the first of a three-part series on using your strengths to overcome challenges.

Part one is about one of my favorite tools to use, the StrengthFinder assessment. If you haven’t heard of the StrengthFinder assessment then this short video will give you some insight into identifying your strengths.

Strengths can be just one of the tools to build resilience in yourself and others. 

Watch here to see how….

5 Ways to Help Students Discover Their Strengths

What if people were asked to work only on what they were good at doing?

What if schools asked children to do activities that they were able to successfully focus on because these activities brought them joy?

What if we asked students what they want to improve in their learning?

Learning about children’s strengths can better equip parents, educators, and youth in finding out what activities might bring the students the most success. Strengths are a combination of talent (the natural way of thinking, feeling and believing), skills and knowledge. Strengths have been researched by the Gallup Organization and placed into 10 talent themes for youth. Teachers can help a student to:

  1. discover their talents and then
  2. build-up and reinforce what is right with that student.

 

Here are five ways teachers can help students discover their strengths

 

Self-directed projects

Self-directed projects help students determine what they are interested in and what they may have a passion for. Many classrooms are instituting what is called a “Genius Hour.” A genius hour is simple and has 3 criteria: a driving question, research and a way to share the learning with others. In the adult world, both Google and 3M have implemented a similar idea – a “20% of time” rule – for employees to work on their own projects. This rule has led employees to develop some major innovations, for example, “Post It Notes” from 3M.

http://www.geniushour.com/

 

Play

Unstructured play is important for children and adults. Play is a way students can increase both their social skills and learn more about their strengths. Students will show preferences for what they want to play with and how they want to play with others. Some may enjoy a solitary game or play with a small group, while others like large group play. Watching children and how they play can tell you a lot about their strengths. Global School Play Day was February 5th, however, you can do this in your classroom any day!

http://www.globalschoolplayday.com/

 

Reading

Stories are a great way to get students to explore their strengths. One of my favorite books to read to a class is Andrew Henry’s Meadow. The boy in the story is not recognized for his strengths by his family and finds a meadow in which to build a home to accommodate his talent for inventing. When I read this book to classes, I ask students to identify Andrew Henry’s strengths and then have them draw a house that would reflect their own passions and talents. Other stories can be used in the same way. Have students choose the type of books they love to read and have a “Drop Everything And Read” (D.E.A.R) time during the day. Adding choices to the day will enhance a student’s joy of learning.

https://www.readingrockets.org/calendar/dear

 

Journals

Journals allow students to, not only write, but create. Many times journals are used only for writing about topics assigned by a teacher. When students have choices over the topics this can be a great motivator and allows them to explore their learning styles. “Wreck This Journal” is created by Keri Smith. She also has a “100 Creative Ways to Journal” that you can try out and see how your students respond.

http://www.kerismith.com/popular-posts/100-ideas/

 

Sketchbooks

Similar to journals, sketchbooks can lend insight to a child’s way of learning and perceiving the world around them. Everyone is creative and there is no right or wrong to art, especially to a child. When my son was younger, he loved to draw. Now he doesn’t draw anymore because, along the way, some well-meaning adults “corrected” his drawings. Because of this, he now thinks that he’s not very good at art. Art cannot be done wrong. The Tinkerlab has a wonderful Sketchbook Challenge that offers daily ideas for fun, low-stress ways to create art.

http://tinkerlab.com/tinkersketch-daily-sketchbook-challenge/

 

How can teachers help students discover and develop strengths?

  • Make and record observations
  • Be curious about your students
  • Ask questions, for example, “What did you discover about yourself by doing this project?”
  • Refrain from making judgmental comments, for example, “I really like the way you used that color.” Instead give students acknowledgment, for example, “I notice you enjoy helping others when you are playing.” Or, “When I see that it’s your turn to clean up the art supplies, you are very organized in putting the supplies away.”
  • Create non-graded activities that infuse fun with learning.

 

Student strengths and talents are discovered and developed by the adults around them. Helping students to discover what is strong about themselves is a great way to boost engagement and confidence. Be open to the possibility of having children explore to create awareness of their strengths and to accept who they are as a person. Never miss that chance to let your students see their brilliance!

Vision Board Ideas for Teachers

I created this video for teachers, however, the process and ideas can be used for anyone. Teachers can use vision boards in the classroom as a way to build social and emotional learning skills. Vision boarding is a process of creating a visual around an intention, goal, dream, topic or vibe you want in life. Included in this video are several ideas of how you can use the vision boarding process for yourself or with your students.