Doing Your Best: The Leadership Practice That Changes Everything

Why caring leadership matters in organizations serving children, youth, and families

One of my favorite quotes from The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz is:

“Your best is going to change from moment to moment. It will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.”

I often think about this idea when I’m working with leaders in organizations that serve families and youth.

What does it really mean to do your best as a leader?

In high-stress environments like schools, social service agencies, childcare organizations, and youth programs, the pressure to do more is constant. Leaders are responsible for staff, programs, outcomes, and the well-being of the people they serve. When challenges arise, and they always do, it can feel like the only solution is to push harder.

But doing your best isn’t about doing more. Doing your best begins with awareness.

The Agreement That Holds Everything Together

In The Four Agreements, Ruiz offers four guiding principles:

  • Be impeccable with your word
  • Don’t take anything personally
  • Don’t make assumptions
  • Always do your best

The fourth agreement, Always Do Your Best, holds the others together.

It reminds us that our capacity varies throughout the day and across different seasons of life. Our best when rested and supported will differ from our best when overwhelmed or depleted. For leaders, recognizing this truth is powerful. It encourages us to replace judgment with curiosity and compassion.

Instead of asking:

“Why aren’t people doing more?”

Caring leaders begin asking:

“What is happening for my staff right now, and how can I support them?”

Leadership Sets the Emotional Tone

Organizations that serve children, youth, and families operate in emotionally demanding environments. Staff regularly face trauma, crises, and complex human needs. When the adults in these systems become overwhelmed or burned out, it becomes much harder to respond with patience, empathy, and creativity.

Stress is contagious in organizations. But so is regulation.

Leaders play an essential role in shaping the emotional atmosphere of their workplace. To do this effectively, they need practical methods to evaluate staff well-being and emotional states. When leaders demonstrate awareness, pause before reacting, and approach challenges with curiosity rather than blame, they foster conditions in which staff can stay grounded during tough moments.

This is what caring leadership looks like in practice.

It’s not about having all the answers.
It’s about creating a culture where people feel supported enough to keep showing up for the important work they do.

Burnout Is a Signal, Not a Personal Failure

Burnout in helping professions remains a serious issue. Educators, social workers, childcare providers, and youth-serving professionals consistently report high stress levels and emotional exhaustion. While resilience skills are important for individuals, burnout often signals problems within the system they work in. 

Caring leaders recognize that supporting staff wellbeing isn’t a luxury; it’s vital. By creating environments that foster reflection, collaboration, and emotional awareness, they help staff stay connected to the purpose behind their work. When staff feel supported, they can better support others.

What Caring Leaders Do Differently

Caring leadership often shows up in small, everyday actions.

Caring leaders:

• Pause before reacting during stressful moments
• Listen with curiosity instead of jumping to solutions
• Recognize strengths in their staff and encourage collaboration
• Acknowledge the emotional weight of the work
• Reinforce hope and possibility when challenges arise

These practices help staff shift from feeling overwhelmed to feeling capable and connected.

When people feel seen and supported, their ability to do their best expands.

Training That Made a Difference

One social service agency director I worked with wanted to strengthen collaboration and support among her staff. The work they were doing was meaningful, but the emotional demands were high, and stress was beginning to affect morale.

Together, we created training that helped staff:

  • recognize their individual strengths
  • better understand trauma-informed practices
  • develop small strategies for staying grounded during challenging interactions

Over time, staff began communicating more openly across departments and supporting one another in new ways. They reported feeling more connected to their work and more hopeful about their impact.

Most importantly, this shift allowed them to serve families in their community with greater patience, compassion, and consistency.

Doing Your Best as a Leader

For leaders in organizations serving children and families, doing your best doesn’t mean pushing harder or expecting more from already stretched staff. Doing your best means paying attention. It involves recognizing when stress is building and choosing to respond with awareness instead of urgency. It means creating workplaces where people feel safe enough to ask for help, reflect, and learn together.

When leaders practice awareness, compassion, and emotional agility, they foster conditions in which everyone in the organization can do their best, even on the toughest days. And when the adults in a system are supported and regulated, the children and families they serve see the greatest benefits.

A Question for Leaders

If you lead a team serving children, youth, or families, consider this:

What helps the people in your organization do their best?

Not just when things are going well, but when the work is hard, emotions are high, and stress is present.

Caring leadership begins with that question.

At Wildewood Learning, I work with organizations that serve children, youth, and families to help leaders build cultures of care, resilience, and belonging.

Through training and consulting, I help leaders:

• strengthen trauma-informed leadership practices
• support staff wellbeing and regulation
• build strength-based collaboration across teams
• create environments where both staff and the people they serve can thrive

If your organization is ready to strengthen caring leadership and reduce burnout, I’d love to connect.

Strong Ground [Review]

“Let’s try a little experiment,” I said to myself this past December.

I have been dabbling with experiments in my life, a short-term thing I want to try. I did a little experiment with not watching or reading the news for two weeks. Honestly, I felt so calm and not like the world was on fire all the time that I continue to limit my news intake. 

Then I did a little social media experiment: I wasn’t on Facebook for a month. Again, it was a great feeling to be free of the burden of social media, so I took the apps off my phone. Now I only use Facebook and Instagram on my computer for a short time, every few days.

My latest experiment was to have a book club. Starting a book club was very self-serving. I wanted to read Brené Brown’s new book, Strong Ground, and I knew I wouldn’t get through it without accountability. I started a book club as a little experiment. It has worked for me. We had our book club discussion about Strong Ground, and I had 8 other women leaders read it with me. There was a chat group where I posted a question or two each week, and others, along with myself, posted their a-ha moments from the reading. 

In this post, I am sharing a few of my insights from reading Strong Ground.

The Dare to Lead Podcast

Brené Brown is one of my favorite leadership thought leaders and researchers. I have read several of her books and use her materials in my trainings. I also listen to her podcasts Unlocking Us and Dare to Lead. Brown was a consistent podcaster and started the Dare to Lead podcast in October, 2020. Then, at the end of 2022, she took a 16-month break, had a few interviews in the spring of 2024, and then nothing until last fall. 

“YES!” I shouted as a Dare to Lead podcast episode dropped last fall. It was a 9-episode series about her new book, “Strong Ground: The Lessons of Daring Leadership, the Tenacity of Paradox and the Wisdom of the Human Spirit,” which offers valuable leadership lessons. Six episodes featured Adam Grant, an organizational psychologist, and the engaging conversations between Brown and Grant provided practical insights into leadership challenges. Listening to these episodes can give you a taste of the book’s leadership concepts and inspire your own growth. 

Short Review of Strong Ground

Strong Ground is an almost 400-page read that packs in so much on leadership, both self-leadership and organizational leadership. In addition to Brown’s writings, she has guest writers discuss leadership concepts she has integrated into the Dare to Lead framework. I will need to go back through all the highlights in the book to really let it all sink in. However, I would like to discuss three sections I found key topics and tools in the book for me.

  1. The Above the Line/ Below the Line Practice
  2. Grounded Confidence
  3. Locking In and Locking Through

The Above the Line/ Below the Line Practice

Above-the-line and below-the-line practices are not new to me. I learned about the practice twenty years ago during a restorative practices training. The Above the Line/ Below the Line mindset was like digging deep into a dusty box of trinkets that I hadn’t thought about for a while and pulling out a treasure, saying, “Oh! This one I need right now!” 

At its essence, it’s a practice where leaders build self-awareness of their mindset. Are you making decisions and responses from a below-the-line mindset that is all about fear, power over, and being “right”? Or are you making those decisions from above the line in the mindset of curiosity, power with, and open to possibilities? This video from the Conscious Leadership group explains the concept well. It’s all about pausing and recognizing where you are, above or below the line. 

Grounded Confidence

Brown’s definition of a leader is anyone, regardless of title or position, who holds themselves accountable for finding potential in people and ideas, and who has the courage to develop that potential. This inclusive view aims to inspire you to see your own leadership qualities and feel empowered to develop them further.

This section incorporates the skills from Dare to Lead (2018), her additional research from Atlas of the Heart (2021), and the many organizations her company has served. Grounded Confidence accounts for almost a third of the book’s content and is the heart of her research with organizations. Brown defines Grounded Confidence as “is a brand of confidence that is …built on solid ground of self-awareness, courage, and practice. Grounded confidence is the accepting and embracing learning and unlearning, practicing and failing, and at its core is driven by discipline and the joy of mastery.” 

Locking In and Locking Through

There are many skill-sets and mindsets needed for grounded confidence; however, one that stood out to me was the concept of Locking In and Locking Through. She especially writes about locking in and deep focus. In this section, it resonated with me because, to finish the book, I needed deep focus; however, the technology was pulling me away from the focus I needed to reach my goal. I set my phone’s timer and then set it across the room. I told myself I couldn’t touch the phone until the timer went off. It took me half the time to settle myself, and then I sat and read. 

As I read this chapter, what I learned is that your attention is like a flashlight: whenever you point it, it becomes brighter. I only have one flashlight, and on days when I try to shine the light on too many tasks in a short time span, task switching, I will start to lose integrity in any of those tasks. I will become slower, more prone to error, and worn out. As a woman of a certain age, I feel emotionally worn out more than ever on days when I ask too much of my brain by switching tasks. I plan to spend more time blocking out projects where I can have deep, intentional focus without the interruptions of other tasks. 

Brown uses personal narrative, sports metaphors, examples within an organization,  guest writers, poetry, and research to weave together the concepts she shares in the book. In the online discussion among the book club members, some of us felt it led to a disjointed reading experience and a lack of a clear path for where she was going in the book. The disjointed information was mostly at the start of the book. We also had a great discussion about the audio version vs the book. In the audiobook, Brown will go off-script at times and add some additional information. Overall, as leaders in our respective communities, we all felt that there was some value in reading the book. 

I suggest listening to the Dare to Lead podcasts before reading the book to get a feel for the content before diving in. I am happy with the book club experiment and may hold another one later in the year. I will be incorporating the Strong Ground mindsets and tools into my personal work as a leader and in my work with organizations to support them in developing a culture that brings out the best within themselves. If you would like to chat about how I can support your organization in developing a “strong ground” culture, reach out to chat!

“What’s Strong, Not What’s Wrong”: A Nervous System Strategy for Resilience

Resilience is often thought of as simply pushing through tough times, but in trauma-informed practice, it’s actually about calming the nervous system and recognizing our strengths, focusing on “what’s strong, not what’s wrong” in ourselves and others. This gentle approach encourages understanding and growth for everyone involved.

My mind is constantly scanning for danger. I can’t help it. As I move through a dark parking lot, I grip my keys tightly, the pointed end protruding between my knuckles. Following what I learned in self-defense class, I keep my eyes on the dark corners and the parking area, maintaining a clear view of the door.

The brain’s alertness has enabled humans to survive for over 10,000 years. However, there are many moments when our brain remains on high alert, making it challenging to access problem-solving parts of the brain. This is evident in situations like a customer yelling at a service worker during an exchange, a driver giving the finger to another driver, a loud honk when someone is cut off in traffic, or a child pulling their hood over their head while an adult yells at them. 

This week, as I sat in the Neurosequential Model course taught by Dr. Bruce Perry, I was reminded that the lower part of our brain, the brain stem, is where we are most common as humanity. This is our stress response area of the brain where our reactions to stress can be fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. This part of the brain is often called the lizard or survival brain.

Dr. Perry wrote the book “What’s Happened to You?” with Oprah Winfrey to discuss childhood trauma and how it stays with us through adulthood. The effects of trauma do not go away. If we are aware of our reactions in certain situations, we can begin to build regulation skills to shift from what is wrong to what is strong within ourselves and others. However, this process takes self-awareness and practice. It’s not easy to override the thing that has been keeping us alive for thousands of years. 

Here are three ways you can lean into your strengths and help others lean into theirs as a way to regulate your nervous system.

Noticing Strengths: A Simple Nervous System Reset

When a friend or colleague shares a problematic situation, listen and reflect on what you heard, which is empathetic listening. Acknowledge that the experience was hard, then ask them what has helped them move through such a challenging time. A simple question can help people shift their focus to the strengths in their lives.

Shared Abundance: How Gratitude Supports Nervous System Regulation 

We can keep a gratitude journal to help us see that we are part of a bigger picture. However, one time I kept an abundance journal. My coach had me write down every day all the abundance that came into my life. This could be that a friend bought me a coffee, that I received a paycheck, or that I received a coupon for half off a meal. Whatever I wanted to count as “abundance,” it helped me see how it came into my life daily and how I can spread abundance to others through my actions. 

Calling Out the Strengths: Build Resilience and Confidence

We all have strengths that are specific to who we are. In the CliftonStrengths assessment, strengths are your natural patterns (talents) combined with knowledge and skills, including what you naturally do, have learned, and practice. Recognizing your unique talents, knowledge, and abilities can inspire confidence and self-worth, empowering you to leverage these strengths in challenging situations.

When we practice turning toward our strengths, it can build our resilience. This is a shared journey, and by noticing the people, practices, and strengths within our control, we can support each other and make a meaningful difference in the world through collective resilience. 

If you lead or work in an organization serving children and families, this strengths-based lens is not just personal, it’s cultural. Building resilient teams starts with regulation, safety, and learning to see what’s strong before trying to fix what’s wrong. Incorporating team-based resilience practices can foster a supportive environment that benefits both staff and clients.

Strength-Based Doesn’t Mean Ignoring Problems

When I talk about strength-based approaches in organizations that serve children and families, I sometimes see a familiar reaction.

A slight pause, then a question about what strength-based means.
A raised eyebrow when I explain that it focuses on what is strong in people.
A quiet concern about shoring up others’ weaknesses.

There’s a fear that “strength-based” means we gloss over weaknesses, avoid difficult conversations, or focus so much on what’s going well that we fail to address what isn’t. For professionals carrying heavy responsibility, for children, families, and communities, that concern makes sense.

But a true strength-based approach doesn’t ignore problems; instead, it complements problem-solving by helping us see what’s working, which enhances our capacity to address challenges effectively.

It gives us a better way to face challenges and changes.

What strength-based really means

Being strength-based involves starting from the belief that individuals possess capacities, skills, and values, even during difficult times.

A strength-based approach emphasizes identifying what is working so we can better address what isn’t. In organizations supporting children and families, systemic challenges like stress, trauma, staffing shortages, and emotional demands are common.

A strength-based perspective allows us to acknowledge these issues while focusing on existing resources, helping us tackle systemic problems without ignoring them. Ultimately, this approach helps us shift our perspective to a more balanced view.

Why strengths matter when work is hard

Strengths are not simply rewards for good behavior but serve as a vital resource, especially during difficult times. When people feel recognized for their contributions, they are more likely to stay engaged, accept responsibility, reflect instead of defend, and develop new skills.

This principle applies to both adults and children: a child who perceives themselves as capable is more willing to try again, while a staff member who feels appreciated is more receptive to feedback.

Strength provides the emotional safety essential for learning and growth. Ultimately, strengths help people thrive not because the tasks are easy, but because they carry meaning.

Problems don’t disappear, capacity increases

Strength-based work does not remove challenges. It increases our capacity to address them.

When people are overwhelmed or dysregulated, conversations about performance, behavior, or change often trigger defensiveness or shutdown. A strength-based approach supports regulation by reminding people of their competence and value.

A strength-based approach is about grounding difficult conversations in truth:
• “Here’s what I see you doing well.”
• “Here’s where you’re stuck.”
• “Here’s how we move forward together.”

Regulation makes these conversations possible.

Strength-based is not just individual, it’s systemic

Strength-based cultures don’t rely on individual positivity. They embed strengths into systems by aligning job roles with people’s natural abilities, naming contributions in team meetings, and adopting leadership practices that notice effort, not just outcomes.

When strengths are consistently acknowledged, they become part of the culture. People begin to expect to be seen, not just evaluated.

Ownership of culture matters here. If leaders talk only about strengths but systems reward urgency, compliance, or perfection, the message gets lost. Strength-based practice works when values and systems align, inspiring confidence that systemic change is possible.

Why this matters in work with children and families

For organizations serving children and families, strength-based approaches model the very skills we hope to nurture: resilience, agency, and connection. Children learn who they are through the eyes of the adults around them. Staff do too.

Consistently naming strengths and challenges shows: you matter, you’re capable, and growth is possible. Acknowledging strengths doesn’t make the work lighter, but it makes it sustainable.

Strength-Based Responses in Uncertain Times

When fear is present, people don’t expect perfection from us; they seek steadiness instead.

During uncertain times, a strength-based approach might sound like: “I notice how much you’re still showing up for your child, even when things feel heavy.” “I see your commitment to this community.” “You don’t have to explain everything for me to care.” These moments are significant.

They serve as reminders to families and staff that dignity and humanity are preserved, even under stress. Strength-based practice, especially now, isn’t about minimizing fear but about grounding people in what is reliable when the world seems unstable.

A small action to begin

To introduce a strength-based approach in your organization, begin with small steps.

During your next tough conversation, identify one authentic strength before discussing the challenge. Not as a “sandwich,” but as context. Make the strength specific, genuine, and relevant to the work. Then, address the issue with clarity and compassion.

This small change can significantly influence how the conversation is received and how people react. Strength-based practice is essential for healthy organizations, but must be integrated into a broader ecosystem.

Strengths grow best in soil that includes regulation, psychological safety, aligned systems, and shared ownership of culture. When these elements work together, organizations move beyond survival toward sustainable impact.

If these ideas resonate, this is the heart of the work I bring into organizations through keynotes and trainings. I support teams who serve children and families in building trauma-informed, strength-based cultures that help people stay regulated, connected, and effective, especially during challenging seasons.

This work is not about quick fixes. It’s about cultivating strong ROOTS so organizations can respond with clarity and care when it matters most.
If you’re curious about how this looks in your setting, I’d love to continue the conversation. Email me at Kathy@wildewoodlearning.com to set up a time to talk.

Trauma-Informed Is Not “Soft”, It’s Strategic for Organizational Growth

When I became a parent to four children from the foster care system, I thought I understood trauma and its effects on children. I had read many well-regarded books on the subject and a few that were, frankly, misguided about how to support children from hard places.

I remember reading stories about children with intense, reactive behaviors and thinking, “Oh, not my children.” What I quickly came to understand is that children who grow up in chronic stress without caring, capable adults to help them regulate often develop behaviors that are adaptive for survival, but difficult to understand on the surface.

What is less often named is this: those adaptive responses don’t simply disappear in adulthood.

Without self-awareness and support, the effects of childhood trauma can carry forward, shaping how adults respond to stress, conflict, and relationships. For those of us who work with families and children, this matters. 

Our own unresolved stress responses can influence how we interpret behavior, communicate with caregivers, and show up in moments that require calm and connection. This is one reason trauma-informed practice is not just about understanding children—it’s about understanding ourselves.

When professionals working with children and families hear “trauma-informed,” there’s a worry that trauma-informed practices mean lowering expectations, avoiding accountability, or being “too soft.” However, the opposite is true.

Trauma-informed work is not about doing less; it’s a strategic approach that enhances organizational effectiveness and growth. It’s about creating conditions that enable people to do their best work.

What trauma-informed really means

At its core, trauma-informed practice recognizes a simple truth: stress and trauma change how people think, feel, and respond, especially children.

When individuals are overwhelmed or dysregulated, they have less access to:

  • problem-solving
  • emotional regulation
  • empathy and connection

These behaviors appear in classrooms, family systems, and organizations as reactivity, shutdown, or burnout. Trauma-informed practices don’t justify these responses; they enable us to understand them better so we can respond more effectively.

When we shift from “What’s wrong with them?” to “What’s happened to them?”, our responses change, and outcomes can improve, fostering hope for better futures.

Why this is strategic, not soft

Trauma-informed organizations are often more:

  • clear
  • consistent
  • regulated
  • effective

They pay attention to how policies, schedules, communication styles, and expectations impact the nervous systems of the people within them. Instead of relying on individuals to “hold it together,” they reduce unnecessary stress at the system level.

Paying attention to staff is especially important in organizations that serve families and children. Adults who feel supported and regulated are better able to co-regulate with children, communicate with families, and stay grounded during challenging moments.

Trauma-informed practices strengthen capacity. They don’t lower the bar; they make it reachable.

One small action you can take

If trauma-informed work feels big or overwhelming, start here:

Pause before responding to behavior, whether adult or child, and ask one question:
“What might this person need right now to feel safe enough to engage?”

Practicing the pause creates space for regulation, curiosity, and choice. It shifts the response from reactive to intentional and can change the tone of an entire interaction.

One part of a larger framework

Trauma-informed practice is essential, but it’s not the whole picture.

It is one piece of a larger ecosystem I call the ROOTS Framework, a way of thinking about organizational culture that integrates regulation, strengths, systems, and sustainability. Trauma-informed practices help create safety. From there, strengths can emerge, systems can support well-being, and people can truly thrive.

Culture change doesn’t happen all at once. It begins with small, thoughtful shifts that make adopting trauma-informed practices more approachable and sustainable.

Trauma-informed work is one of the most strategic places to begin.

Short & Sweet Strategies to Reduce Stress This Holiday Season

The holidays have a way of pulling us in every direction at once. There’s the joy, of course—the lights, the traditions, the small magical moments. But there’s also the weight: expectations, family dynamics, full calendars, financial pressure, and the deep desire to hold everything together for everyone else.

For so many helping professionals—educators, social service providers, childcare staff—this time of year isn’t simply busy. It’s emotionally loaded. You’re carrying your own life, your own hopes for the holidays, and the needs and stresses of the children and families you serve. And without even noticing, we slip into a familiar thought, “I’ll take care of myself later.”

I know that pattern well. 

The Season My Life Changed

Almost 20 years ago, when we adopted our children, life shifted overnight (you can read about our adoption here). Adoption brings joy, tenderness, and deep purpose—but it also brings trauma histories, transitions, and big emotions. Every day required everything I had. I told myself I just needed to push through.

Six months later, I was hit with a significant health challenge, breast cancer. It forced me to sit still, look honestly at my life, and ask: How long had it been since I had taken care of myself?

The truth was hard to face. I had been operating under stress, urgency, and exhaustion for too long. I ignored every signal my body was sending. My cancer was what I call a 2 by 4 moment—a moment when I wasn’t paying attention when I needed to. So God had to hit me over the head with a 2×4 to get my attention!

I realized that during the time my body made me slow down, I came upon something that has shaped my work and my life ever since:

Stress isn’t just a feeling. It’s a full-body process.
And the smallest practices make the biggest difference.

I didn’t need a weeklong retreat to heal my stress patterns (however, that would have been nice). I needed the tiny, doable moments my nervous system could actually receive—moments that brought me back to myself while life was still happening.

Those small practices became my lifeline, and now they’re one of the foundational tools of my framework that  I teach to educators and helping professionals today.

Stress Is Normal

One of the most trauma-informed truths we can embrace is this: There is nothing wrong with you for feeling stressed. Stress is a normal, biological process. It happens anytime something is difficult, uncertain, emotional, or demanding.

Your nervous system isn’t misbehaving—it’s trying to protect you.

The key isn’t eliminating stress. It’s building a “menu” of practices that help you return to yourself when the world pulls you away. Especially in the holiday season, when pressure quietly (and sometimes loudly) ramps up, these small practices are an act of grounding and resilience.

Let’s talk about some short and sweet strategies you can weave into your day—whether you have 2 minutes or 20. Here are some strategies to try.

Short Resets (2–5 minutes)

1. Exhale Longer Than You Inhale: A long exhale tells your brain, “We are safe enough to settle.” Try a 4-second inhale, 6-second exhale.

2. Hand on Heart: A simple, powerful gesture that brings warmth and reassurance—especially helpful when emotions are high.

3. Joyful Photos: Look at something that sparks positive emotion—your pet, a funny memory, a favorite place.  A 10-second emotional shift is still a shift.

Medium Moments (5–10 minutes)

1. Soothing Soundtrack: Music is a regulatory tool for your nervous system. Find a playlist that helps your body get its needs met, whether it’s to calm, energize, or entertain.

2. Repetitive Crafts: Knitting, coloring, doodling—activities with rhythmic motion calm the system beautifully, and you can do them together with friends, family, or co-workers.

3. Mindful Eating or Drinking: Sip a warm tea, cocoa, cider, or coffee and really taste it. See how long it takes you to eat that holiday cookie. Be in the present moment and enjoy the sensations.

Rest, Restore, Reconnect (10+ minutes)

1. Movement Practice: Yoga, swimming, strength training—gentle or energizing, your choice.

2. Nature Time: Ten minutes under a tree can do what 50 minutes at a desk cannot.

3. Long Nap or Rest: Permission to rest is permission to heal. Rest builds resilience.

Your Menu: Choose What Works for the season.

In my workshops, I always tell people: you don’t need all of these. Pick three practices—one short, one medium, one longer—and let those be your “holiday menu.”

Life isn’t about perfection or achieving calm 24/7. It’s about creating micro-moments when your body can return to steadiness and safety.

It’s burnout prevention. It’s a trauma-informed way of caring for your whole self, and it matters. Especially now.

As you move through the holidays and into 2026, I hope you’ll offer yourself the compassion you so readily give to others.

Small practices work.
Small practices count.

Small practices change lives.

If you want more tools or support, I have an extended “Holiday Menu” you can download HERE. I’ll be sharing even more short-and-sweet practices throughout the season.

Here’s to a little less stress, a little more peace, and a year ahead that feels more like you.

How a County Committee Created a Roadmap for the Future

This is the third case study I have shared over the last few months to illustrate Wildewood Learning’s partnership with schools and organizations that serve families and children, with a trauma-informed, strength-based approach. 

Read the case study on how Wildewood Learning partnered with a school district HERE.

Read the case study on how Wildewood Learning partnered with a social service agency HERE.

The Community Justice Coordinating Committee (CJCC) was an ad-hoc group of stakeholders in the justice system of a rural county in Minnesota. The committee has met monthly since 2014 to address the growing inmate population in the county jail. The CJCC is a dedicated committee that brings together local hospital, law enforcement, community action, the court system, county commissioners, social services, schools, and other local organizations and agencies, all with the goal of helping residents avoid recidivism in the court system.

Challenge

The CJCC sought to expand its networking capacity to enhance the mental health of targeted populations by formalizing relationships between stakeholders. In formalizing the committee, the Reaching Rural Grant funding awarded to Roseau County hired Wildewood Learning to help develop a strategic plan, bylaws, and a communication plan, creating a network to expand mental health and chemical dependency services for area residents. 

In a rural county with a population of just over 10,000 residents, the availability of services is limited. The formalization of the CJCC and development of a strategic plan would provide stakeholders with the basis to apply for grant funds to increase services.

The CJCC also sought to integrate trauma-informed principles and strength-based interventions into the services offered to county residents. 

Solutions

To support the CJCC in formalizing its structure and strengthening its impact, Wildewood Learning (Kathryn Magnusson) co-facilitated a collaborative planning process that united diverse county partners around shared priorities. Through a series of activities with the steering committee and guided whole committee discussions, the group identified key community challenges, developed a mission and vision grounded in resilience and well-being, and created a strategic framework to guide future decision-making. The process emphasized inclusion, ensuring that voices from law enforcement, social services, schools, healthcare, and community organizations all contributed to shaping the plan’s direction.

Wildewood Learning also integrated trauma-informed and strengths-based principles into every stage of the planning process. The resulting strategic plan outlined clear goals, measurable outcomes, and realistic action steps to enhance coordination across systems, expand access to behavioral health and prevention programs, and empower community members as active participants in building safety and a sense of belonging. In addition to the strategic plan, Kathryn facilitated the development of formal bylaws, a communication plan, and tools for tracking progress—providing the CJCC with a sustainable framework for collaboration and funding readiness.

Results

  • A comprehensive five-year strategic plan was created through a collaborative process facilitated by Wildewood Learning—the plan establishes measurable outcomes and progress indicators to guide cross-agency collaboration and service delivery.
  • Enhanced community engagement through clearer communication channels, formal bylaws, and inclusive outreach strategies that gave underrepresented populations a voice in local justice initiatives.
  • Increased organizational capacity and funding readiness, positioning the CJCC to pursue grants and partnerships that expand mental health, substance use, and prevention services across the county.

The CJCC’s transformation from an informal working group into a formalized, collaborative committee illustrates what’s possible when a community unites around shared purpose and strategic action. Through facilitated planning, the group developed a clear mission, vision, and structure that will guide future decision-making and strengthen coordination among justice, health, and social service partners. This process not only created a foundation for sustainable funding and service expansion but also deepened relationships across systems—ensuring that every resident has access to the support they need to thrive.

As Sue Grafstrom, Reaching Rural Grant Manager, reflected, “Hiring Kathryn to carry out the goals and objectives of our Reaching Rural Grant was a great decision! She was able to capture the essence of what I wanted to accomplish in formalizing our Roseau County Justice Coordinating Committee. We now have a formal organization, mission, vision, and a strategic plan. She has the knowledge and experience to dig in and get things done.”If your organization or county is ready to strengthen collaboration, build trauma-informed systems, and create a shared vision for community well-being, Wildewood Learning can help. Together, we can design strategic, trauma-informed, and strength-based solutions that move your community from a reactive to a resilient state—building systems that foster belonging, safety, and hope. Connect with Wildewood Learning Training and Consulting today!

The Necessity of Core Values

On long road trips alone, I enjoy listening to podcasts. I like filling my mind with others’ wisdom. This past weekend, I listened to Brené Brown’s Dare to Lead podcast. She has just released a new book, Strong Ground, on leadership, and is kicking off its promotion with conversations with Adam Grant. If you’re not familiar with Adam Grant’s work, he has authored several books on organizational psychology.

In one of the episodes I listened to, they discussed core values as a crucial part of leadership. I have narrowed my core values to three —spirituality, adventure, and contributing — but Brené suggests focusing on just two. She highlights the significance of these two values as they truly guide our actions and choices. She urges us to do the hard work of asking ourselves, What does this look like and sound like in my life?

For me, my value of spirituality is a priority in my life. I take time in the morning to watch a sunrise or meditate. This helps me see that there is something bigger than myself and the connection I feel. Adventure is also one of my values. I see adventure when planning trips to places I’ve never been before. I also find adventure in learning new things and ideas.

Helping organizations and schools identify their core values is part of my work with leaders and staff to initiate conversations about values and their impact on the workplace. 

This summer, I worked with a group of high school students and their mentors to identify values. They were asked to review the company’s values. How do your values align with the company? What does that alignment mean to you?

In June 2019, I wrote about helping teens identify their values and how sharing them with a supportive adult (like a teacher) can significantly impact their academic success. You can read that post HERE.

Try This:

  1. Print off this list of Core Values. Circle your top 10. I find that many want to put family first; however, you don’t need to feel obligated to do so. Family can be important, and you live your values through how you interact with your family members. 
  2. Next, narrow the list down to your top five values.
  3. Then to your top two. 
  4. Journal about how these two values show up in your life.
    1. What does it look like and feel like when you are in alignment with your values? 
    2. What does it look like ro feel like when you are out of alignment?
  5. Post your values where you can reflect on them often. This simple act can serve as a daily reminder of what’s truly important to you, helping you make decisions that align with your values. It can also provide clarity and direction, especially during challenging times.

This activity is valuable at the organizational level. When conflict occurs within an organization, unclear communication and a lack of understanding of our values can lead to assumptions, which, in turn, can increase the conflict. The time spent helping people understand and align with their own values, alongside the organization’s, can be an effective tool for addressing conflict when it arises.

Resources: Link to the 6-part podcast series Finding Our Strong Ground
Trauma-Informed Resiliency practices are designed for organizations or schools that want to support their staff in performing at their best for those they serve. If you’re interested in learning more about the workshops I can facilitate with your team, let’s chat. Click Here!

Choosing Trauma-Informed Prevention That Works

A recent regional story about a high-school “mock crash”—a staged DUI collision with blood, sirens, and ambulances—took me back to practices many communities once embraced as prevention. I grew up in the 1980s, and before prom or graduation, there was always a community in the area that staged a “mock crash.” These events are meant to shock teens into safer choices. But today, with what we know about trauma and what the research shows about behavior change, we need to ask: Do mock crashes work—and at what cost?

What the evidence says

Independent reviews of school-based alcohol and impaired-driving programs consistently find that dramatic, one-off events can change feelings for a moment but don’t change behavior over time. A research summary from the Washington Traffic Safety Commission concluded that well-known programs, such as Every 15 Minutes and “Grim Reaper/Mock Crashes,” have not produced significant, long-term outcomes on attitudes or behavior. At best, short-term attitude shifts fade within weeks; crucially, studies rarely show reductions in actual drinking or alcohol-related crashes.

This pattern aligns with broader prevention science: fear- or threat-based campaigns are attention-grabbing, but their effects on actual driving behavior are small or short-lived, and they can be least effective for the very youth who are most likely to take risks. (Traffic Injury Research Foundation)

Why this kind of “prevention” can harm

Being trauma-informed means recognizing that many students and staff carry visible and invisible wounds. As physician Gabor Maté puts it, “Trauma is not what happens to you but what happens inside you as a result of what happens to you.” Graphic simulations risk re-activating those internal wounds—especially for students who’ve lost loved ones in crashes, have family members with DUIs, or who live with chronic stress. 

Best-practice frameworks for trauma-informed schools emphasize avoiding re-traumatization, creating emotional and physical safety, and building regulation and connection. Loud sirens, staged accidents, and EMTs may directly conflict with those principles, potentially compounding distress for vulnerable youth. 

When we know better, we do better

So what should schools and communities do instead? Shift from shock to strengths and connection—approaches that build protective factors, positive norms, and help-seeking.

One model with a strong and growing evidence base is Sources of Strength, which spreads peer-led messages of Hope, Help, and Strength and connects students to trusted adults. A multi-state randomized evaluation showed schoolwide improvements in help-seeking norms, with the most significant gains among students at higher risk. (PMC)

Most compelling, a recent CDC-funded cluster randomized trial found a 29% reduction in new suicide attempts among high-school students in schools implementing Sources of Strength—powerful evidence that positive-norm, connection-based prevention can produce real behavioral outcomes. Both substance (alcohol, cannabis, and drugs) misuse and suicidality are strongly linked to unresolved trauma, emotional dysregulation, and lack of social connection—the very areas addressed by trauma-informed prevention models like Sources of Strength.

We know when youth drink, it’s rarely “just about the alcohol.” It’s often about coping with pain, pressure, or disconnection. Fear-based campaigns and mock crashes don’t heal that pain—but hope, belonging, and connection do.

Research results align with trauma-informed school guidance, emphasizing the importance of building safety and belonging, elevating student voice, and strengthening skills and supports, rather than relying on graphic fear appeals.

A better path forward

If your community is considering a mock crash before prom or homecoming, here are trauma-informed alternatives that honor lived experience and improve outcomes:

  • Peer-led positive norms campaigns (e.g., Sources of Strength “Hope, Help, Strength” messaging) that regularly reinforce help-seeking, safe-ride plans, and looking out for friends.
  • Skill-building sessions (refusal skills, bystander intervention, planning a ride) are integrated into advisory or health classes rather than one-time assemblies. Evidence reviews show life-skills approaches outperform scare tactics.
  • Storytelling with consent and support, centered on resilience and recovery—not graphic details—and accompanied by clear pathways to help during and after the event (school counselors, 988). Trauma-informed toolkits support choice, safety, and connection.

As a certified trainer of Sources of Strength in the state of Minnesota, I help schools and communities replace outdated, potentially harmful practices with trauma-informed, strengths-based prevention that actually moves the needle. If your district wants to talk about ditching mock crashes and building a culture of Hope, Help, and Strength, I’d love to connect.

Are you a school or community in Minnesota interested in implementing Sources of Strength? Click HERE to find out how Kathryn can support your school.

How a County Social Service Agency Strengthened the Skills of Its Staff to Increase Resilience

This is the second case study I will share, illustrating Wildewood Learning’s partnerships with schools and organizations that serve families and children, with a focus on trauma-informed, strength-based interventions. The first case study was with a school district in northwestern Minnesota. You can read about it here. 

The social services agency, located in a small county in northwestern Minnesota, took a proactive approach to staff development. The staff, comprising approximately 20 people, provided and implemented social service programs for the 4,000 residents in the county. Wildewood Learning provided training to the staff over the course of 9 months through three targeted training sessions.

Challenge

The staff members were often disconnected in their work relationships. It was the fall of 2022, and some staff members had not yet returned to the office, while others were on a rotating schedule. There was a strong need to bring everyone together in the agency. Additionally, staff struggled to understand client needs and behaviors. However, through the training, they gained a more compassionate lens in understanding the effects of trauma, leading to a significant shift in their approach.

Solution

In a collaborative effort between Rural Minnesota CEP (Concentrated Employment Program) and the local social services agency, they hired Wildewood Learning (Kathryn Magnusson) to facilitate a Strengths in Action training using the Clifton StrengthsFinder Assessment with CEP and County staff. The training session enabled the staff to come together and create a shared experience, learning about one another’s strengths. 

The positive results led to two additional trainings: one on Trauma-Sensitive Communities, so that all staff, from reception personnel to the director, had a basic understanding of trauma, its effects, and how to create resilience. 

The third training was on the topic of Increasing Optimism. The goal of this training session was to create a positive atmosphere within the workplace, which would, in turn, enhance relationships with colleagues and clients. 

Results

After the three sessions, I sat down with the director to ask how the training had affected the staff.

  • Increased staff positivity and energy: The director noted that the training provided a much-needed “shot of positivity,” helping staff shift their mindset at work. The agency’s commitment to fostering a positive workplace culture was evident in the staff’s increased energy and improved outlook, which were seen as meaningful wins in maintaining a healthier workplace culture.
  • Improved team cohesion: She emphasized the importance of bringing her staff together. By participating in activities as a group, staff had the opportunity to collaborate, connect across departments, and “rub elbows with each other.” The sessions strengthened relationships and reduced feelings of isolation between teams.
  • Shared learning experience: Rather than sending one or two staff to outside trainings, the agency found greater benefit in having all staff learn together. The director observed that when “we’re all in the same room, listening to the same person,” the training messages carried further and were more consistent across the organization.
  • Support for leadership development: The director also highlighted her own growth, noting that bringing training in-house aligned with her annual leadership goals. Hosting ongoing staff development was seen not only as beneficial for the team but also as part of building her capacity as an agency leader.

“These trainings have given my staff the positivity and energy they need to face tough work. When we’re all in the same room, learning together, it builds stronger connections and helps us support each other. Bringing this training in-house has been one of the best ways to invest in my team’s well-being and growth.” 

Amy Ballard, Director, Lake of the Woods Social Services

The work done in collaboration with Wildewood Learning supports the social service director in her goals of creating a positive workplace atmosphere, acknowledging the strengths of the staff, and also creating empathy for clients and colleagues. 

Wildewood Learning offers customized professional development, consulting, and tools to support workplaces in becoming trauma-informed and strength-based places where people thrive. Let’s connect to discuss how we can support your staff, strengthen relationships, and help you achieve your leadership goals for your organization. Connect with Wildewood Learning today!