I was working in a local school district when I stopped by a classroom after school to talk with a teacher about the next day. Mrs. T had been teaching for more than 25 years. When I walked in, her head was down on her desk.

She looked up at me with tears in her eyes and said, “I just can’t do it. I just can’t do it.”

I had been in Mrs. T’s classroom many times. She was an excellent teacher. Her students loved her, and she connected with them right away. That afternoon, she told me how overwhelmed she was. The district had asked teachers to roll out a new curriculum without giving them time to learn it or plan the lessons. She had been asked to move classrooms. Her class size had grown. I could tell she was at her breaking point.

Mrs. T stayed in the district for several more years. She loved her students, and she was close to retirement. She pushed through and kept building a classroom that was good for her kids.

I’ve thought about her many times since. The system got what it needed from her. I’m not sure it ever gave her what she needed.

Mrs. T had two reasons to stay. Many of the people we need the most don’t. That’s why leaders have to ask a different question: Why would they want to come, or even stay?

The Question That Started It

This past month, I attended a two-day conference focused on improving student attendance. Attendance is a complex issue, but Dr. Pierre Orbe asked the key question: “Why would students want to come?”

I believe leaders need to ask the same question about our workplaces and the systems that shape them: “Why would my staff want to work here?”

The SAFE Framework (Safety, Affirm, Flourish, Engage) answers that question. People want to feel safe and supported. They want to be affirmed that they matter and belong. They want to flourish through shared purpose and collaboration, and they want to engage and enjoy the people they work with.

The Crisis Walking Out the Door

Schools and agencies are struggling to fill positions and keep people in them. The family child care business is feeling it too. A recent Hechinger Report headline asked who will replace home-based child care providers, most of whom are now over 50.

One of the most urgent threats to organizations serving children and families is losing skilled, committed professionals to burnout. I’ve watched it happen. Unrealistic expectations, overwhelming caseloads, and a culture of constant triage push experienced people out of the field faster than organizations can replace them. These are capable people working inside systems that ask too much and give too little back.

When people are stretched beyond their limits, everyone feels it. Trauma-informed leadership understands that staff well-being is the foundation everything else is built on.

Trust Is The Key to Staff Retention

When I think back to Mrs. T, what stands out most is how many decisions were made about her, not with her. That’s a trust problem.

Researcher Megan Tschannen-Moran describes five facets of trust that show up in strong schools and organizations. I find them to be a practical checklist for any leader asking, “Why would my staff want to stay?”

Benevolence. Staff believes you have their best interests at heart.

Honesty. You tell the truth, even when it’s hard.

Reliability. You follow through on what you promise.

Competence. You know what the work requires and give people the time and tools to do it well.

Openness. You share information and invite input.

In my experience, openness is the facet I see missing most often. Communication is one of the biggest barriers to trust I’ve seen in schools and agencies. Voices aren’t heard, and often they aren’t even asked. When a big change is coming and staff learn about it after the decisions are made, they don’t buy in. They may comply, but they don’t own it.

When leaders and staff are busy putting out fires, communication is often the first thing dropped, and trust erodes quietly.

How Can Leaders Build Openness With Staff

  • Bring staff in before decisions are final. Ask, “What will this mean for your work?” while there’s still time to adjust.
  • Explain the why along with the what. People can support a change they understand, even a hard one.
  • Close the loop. Tell staff what you heard and what you did with it, even when the answer is no.
  • Make communication predictable. A short, regular check-in beats a long meeting that gets canceled when things get busy.
  • Respond with curiosity. The way you react to the first concern decides whether anyone shares the second one.

So, Why Would They Stay?

Mrs. T’s love for her students carried her to retirement. The next generation of teachers, caregivers, and caseworkers will have options, and they’ll choose workplaces where they feel safe, heard, and valued.

So I’ll leave you with the question Dr. Orbe asked about students, turned toward the adults in your building: Why would they want to come, or even stay?

Take a few minutes this week to answer it honestly. Better yet, ask your staff. Their answers will tell you exactly where to start.